Year: 2012
Something Lewd And Disgusting Is Happening In Our Woods
There is a great and disgusting problem afoot and I would like to ask you, dear readers, to help me in the eradication of it. I would like to create a petition and get as many concerned Americans as possible…
Local Man Seems Just A Little Too Into Archery
INDIANAPOLIS – Sitting down with his family to watch the opening rounds of the Olympic Games Friday, Indianapolis resident Damien Fenhurst was just a little too into archery, say sources. Displaying an inordinate degree of interest in the skill and…
Study Says a Dark Day in America – Blacks Are Getting Happier
BLACKSBURG, VA – A newly released study reveals potentially upsetting news for millions of white Americans. According to the longitudinal study, the conclusions are shocking: Black Americans are getting happier – much happier. The study by the University of Pennsylvania,…
Chick-Fil-A Changes Name to Cock-Fil-A
In an effort to appease right wing males, Chick-Fil-A has announced plans to drop the sexist word “chick” from its name to the more gender specific word “cock.” Company spokesman Hugh Jappendage clarified, saying, “We don’t want to offend anybody…
Top 16 Olympic Games We Wish We Could See
With the 2012 Olympics well under way, we can only dream of the myriad sports that have been excluded. I’m not talking about Yoga or Calvinball, but some of the other unseen greats. Here are just a few of our…
Tea is Gateway Drug to Coffee
New research has found that Tea, a drug which contains caffeine and can also effect the cannabiniod receptors and is popular with both the English and Chinese, can lead to harder drugs like Filter Coffee, Lattes and Espressos. Research carried out by the charity…
The Economy Has Improved, Stupid
Reading through the comments on Fark Monday, I encountered the most fascinating post by a user named Hugram. It dispels from every aspect the myth that the economy is worse under Obama. The truth is Bush made a mess and…
Iraqi Suicide Bombers Struggle Forming a Union
Today union minded Iraqis formed Suicide Bombers Locale #467 in Baghdad but had to promptly look for a new union hall as a couple of the members brought their work in with them. Sitting outside the smoldering building the surviving…
Ralph Lauren Apologizes to Mitt Romney for Chinese-Made Yarmulke
Ralph Lauren has found himself in another tight spot this weekend when it was revealed that the yarmulkes designed for Romney’s visit to Israel were also made in China. A quick apology was issued when news of the non-kosher yarmulkes…
Mitt Romney Adopts His Overseas Money; Emotional Reunion at Airport
BOSTON–It was quite the Hallmark moment for the Romney clan today as the former governor stood next to his campaign bus at the Logan International Airport, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his newly adopted sons. And as his “precious cargo”…