Mitt Romney Adopts His Overseas Money; Emotional Reunion at Airport

BOSTON–It was quite the Hallmark moment for the Romney clan today as the former governor stood next to his campaign bus at the Logan International Airport, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his newly adopted sons.

And as his “precious cargo” emerged from the plane intact, he almost couldn’t restrain himself.

“I’m a dad again!” the proud governor exclaimed jubilantly. “And again. And again. I never thought this day would come but here it is–and here they are!”

According to both the government and the Guinness Book of World Records, this is the first time anyone’s family has outgrown most countries.

“The little guys are still sleeping,” whispered the presidential hopeful as he patted their briefcase-like strollers. “Oh look! Some Ben’s are up. And a few thousand Grants too! So cute.”

The Romneys revealed that, though the adoption process had been difficult from the get-go, it really was the only way for all of them to be in America together.

“As most of the world knows,” offered Ann somewhat candidly. “Many of our loved ones have been forced to live in strange and foreign places like Bermuda and Switzerland for years now–away from Mommy and Daddy. But now–I can’t believe it!–we can all be a family again! It’s so wonderful to give a home–well, two or three homes–to such needy children.”

Author: jeff boldt

Writer and editor of Iron E-News - a satirical news website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world--at times all too closely mirroring our own. *Also writes under the pseudonym W.P. Scranton

2 thoughts on “Mitt Romney Adopts His Overseas Money; Emotional Reunion at Airport

  1. I wish the press woudl give serious attention to all this. He DOES have cash overseas, and he obviously brought some of it back with the amnesty in 2009. Where’s the coverage???

  2. I’m just glad to think of all the jobs he’s going to personally create with all that job-creator money.

    That’s a thing, right? That actually happens and isn’t just a republican talking point, right?

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