Month: September 2012
Report: 58% of Unemployed Actively Failing to Look for Work
WASHINGTON D.C. – The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics has found that almost 60% of citizens registered as unemployed are nonetheless actively failing to seek out work. A study released on the department’s website indicates that approximately 15 million people…
Jessica Simpson Reveals Her $4 Million Weight Loss Plan
Former sexpot and singing sensation Jessica Simpson, who ballooned up to 170 pounds during her pregnancy, claims the $4 million offer by Weight Watchers has enabled her to shed her excess pounds. “They offered me millions to get back in…
Poll Results Indicate Dick Cheney More Evil than Vlad the Impaler
A recent poll asked participants to name who they thought was the most evil person in history. The results, while not entirely surprising, did say a lot about just how unlikeable Dick Cheney has become over the years. What was…
She’s Convicted of Selling Seashells By The Seashore
A woman who was suspected of selling seashells by the seashore has been arrested near the site of the scandal. It has been alleged that she was selling seashells by the seashore without a permit to sell seashells by the…
Global Warming is a Scientific Fact… Like We Care
It is now an established scientific fact that global warming is taking place around the world. You can see it everywhere. Glacier National Park is melting. Huge slabs of ice in the Polar Regions are dropping into the sea like…
A Poor Immigrant Kid’s Tragic to Success Story in America
I immigrated to the United States when I was 13 years old because my father wanted to study at the prestigious Johns Hopkins University for his post-doctorate degree. My mother, at the time, was working as a supermarket’s cashier. Needless to say, our family was very poor at that time. However, both of my parents valued education so much that my father rented an one bedroom apartment with a den in an affluent district for me to get the best public education that they could afford.
Romney Plans to Live in Large Uterus Instead of White House
Toledo, OH – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney unveiled his plan to move himself and his family into a “uterus of suitable size and structure” if elected president. He made the announcement during a speech at a Toledo go-kart manufacturing…
Democrats Narrowly Avert Threat of Democracy
In a historic and unprecedented move, the Democratic Party asked the delegates at its 2012 national convention in Charlotte, North Carolina to use democratic procedures to approve a platform amendment. At the last minute, however, they avoided the whim of…
Rating Agencies Themselves Downgraded
Policy makers have agreed that financial rating agencies are to be reformed. In the expected announcement, the European Parliament said; “The Big Three, Moody’s, Finch and Standard and Poor’s, are now so far behind financial trends that we have no…
Exposé: Under the Table with the Romneys
The Ann Romney ironing board story unfolds with a new wrinkle. Photographs posted today by Households Without Housekeepers reveal the wall-unit ironing board reportedly used as the Romney dining table was in fact a Murphy bed. The labor activist organization…