Global Warming is a Scientific Fact… Like We Care

It is now an established scientific fact that global warming is taking place around the world. You can see it everywhere. Glacier National Park is melting. Huge slabs of ice in the Polar Regions are dropping into the sea like so many gigantic ice cubes into some cosmic scotch and soda.

The ocean is steadily rising. Pretty soon if you live in Florida you’ll need an inflatable raft to get to your kitchen for a snack.

Millions of people will soon be forced further inland as the seas encroach on coastal cities like New York, Miami, and London, England (OK, London isn’t a coastal city yet, just wait). What’s going to happen in places like Indochina and Bangladesh we don’t even want to think about, so we won’t.

Still, we at New-Ruse are not impressed. Our eye is on the coming Ice Age, which is now far overdue.

In fact about a thousand years overdue. If you think flooding coastal homes and businesses is a problem, think about New York City under glacial ice a mile thick. Try calling out for a pizza when that happens. Civilization, in our estimation, will not merely collapse, it will revert back to the Stone Age.

It’s therefore time to muzzle all the climate change alarmists and focus on getting to work to heat up the planet even more.

Unless you think you’d like living in a cave and stabbing at big animals with a stick for dinner it is time to reverse the reversal of climate change. Yes, we need more, not less, carbon emissions spewed into the atmosphere – and time is short. The ice man cometh and baby this is one bad dude.

Author: Will Johnson

Will Johnson operates several e-commerce websites and writes stage plays in his spare time. Will is editor of

4 thoughts on “Global Warming is a Scientific Fact… Like We Care

  1. Having hiked the entire Appalachian trail in my youth I can tell you — living in caves and stabbing your own dinner ain’t so bad! However, Global Warming WILL limit your dining choices.

  2. I can sympathize. I am of Antarctican origin, but my family left 34 million years ago and now our records are buried under miles of ice. I’m hoping that global warming will allow me to reclaim my family heritage.

  3. This story was found buried deep in the system. Some editor at some point in the past (I assume me, but can’t be sure) scheduled this story to run in the year 201 A.D…. so, yeah, it did. Just didn’t have as many readers back then.

    Figured it could move it to somewhere more plausible along the timeline, or just run it live… so there ya go.

    Mea culpa.

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