Posted in Politics

Tax Cuts Will Allow Average Americans to Own Luxury Vehicles

Car makers across the board are reporting hikes in recent sales, with higher-end models doing their fair share of business as well. So it is no surprise that with the news that the Bush tax cuts will most likely be…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Tax Cuts Will Allow Average Americans to Own Luxury Vehicles
Posted in Human Interest

Into The Semi-Wild- An Alaskan Adventure

This is a record of a noble experiment conducted by me, rfreed. With this journal I will record my experiences of the next month over Christmas vacation during which time I will be alone in a cabin in the woods…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Into The Semi-Wild- An Alaskan Adventure
Posted in Biz News Talky Pictures

Marvel Superheroes Humiliated By Disney Domination

Since it bought out the new, hot running Marvel Comic Movie Studio responsible for such blockbuster hits as Spider-Man, Iron Man and the X Men series, Disney Corporation has begun to institute major changes into the Marvel superheroes to bring…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Marvel Superheroes Humiliated By Disney Domination
Posted in World News

Something Unspeakable Happening On the AK Coast

Cordova, Alaska 8:35 AM- There has been an apparent series of attacks on residents in the small Alaska coastal town of Cordova, approximately 100 miles south of Valdez, Alaska. More on this as we get it. BREAKING NEWS: Cordova, Alaska…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Something Unspeakable Happening On the AK Coast
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job

The liberal media has fallen asleep on the job. They are supposed to be the “dominant media” according to certain people. But you sure could never guess it from the last few weeks. Too much has slipped through the grill….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mythical Liberal Media Not Doing Its Job
Posted in Politics

111th Congress Declares Bankruptcy, Asks For A Bailout

The 111th Congress of what is supposedly the richest and most powerful country in the world, the United States of America, has declared bankruptcy. Following years of self inflicted, major party apartheid, selling out to corporate and higher class interests…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! 111th Congress Declares Bankruptcy, Asks For A Bailout
Posted in Travel

Israeli Cruise Ship Sinks After Striking Floating Goldberg

Tel Aviv, IA -(Glossy News) Mourners filled the office of Zion Shipping Lines after news of the first Israeli cruise ship, the Moe Weiner, was reported foundering in rough waters in Lake Champaine in upstate New York. According to several…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Israeli Cruise Ship Sinks After Striking Floating Goldberg
Posted in Biz News Crime

The Term ‘CEO’ Now Has So Many Different Meanings

At one time in our no-so-distant past the term ‘CEO’, meaning ‘Chief Executive Officer’, was invented to replace the perfectly good word ‘President’ as the title for the person heading up a company or corporation. For some reason, some bureaucratic…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Term ‘CEO’ Now Has So Many Different Meanings
Posted in Health Politics

Poli-Soup; The Cure For “All” Your “Ills”

The miracles of our modern world never cease! Claims are now being made by many pundits that their particular variety of political soup recipe is sure to find a cure for whatever ails you. To concoct your own cure, first…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Poli-Soup; The Cure For “All” Your “Ills”
Posted in Human Interest War Zone

First Seaman to Sail Up The Yin-Yang Gone Missing

Having heard about the mysterious and fabled Ying-Yang by scores of people who claimed to ‘have taken it up there,’ and wondering what going up it might actually mean for himself, sailor and adventurer, Frankie Johnson, advised his friends down…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! First Seaman to Sail Up The Yin-Yang Gone Missing
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Rare Formosan Silicone Termites Ruining Hollywood Starlets’ Careers

Hollywood, CA (Glossy News) – So, what can make a Hollywood starlet run away like a scared rabbit? How about a vicious little insect that can devour a thousand times its weight in silicone material a day. Entomologists from around…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Rare Formosan Silicone Termites Ruining Hollywood Starlets’ Careers
Posted in Crime

Manson Claims He Used Cell Phone to Call Satan

Authorities at Corcoran State Prison in Corcoran, California recently found a cell phone under inmate Charles Manson’s pillow. When confronted, Manson claimed that he didn’t even know what the hell the thing was and said someone must have planted it…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Manson Claims He Used Cell Phone to Call Satan
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Music

Kelly Osbourne Arrested for DUI? TSG Mugshot Says Maybe

Anyone familiar with Kelly Osbourne knows she has an uncommon love for all things chemical, specifically if they can get her to an altered state, and as a member of the first family of rock, she’s never faced an ounce…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Kelly Osbourne Arrested for DUI? TSG Mugshot Says Maybe
Posted in Human Interest World News

Victoria’s Secret Unveils Dubai-Chic Line, Not Literally

Victoria’s Secret has announced that it will be opening one of its first shops outside of North America—in Dubai of all places. While we can’t speak for the sanity of the folks who take care of expansion projects for the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Victoria’s Secret Unveils Dubai-Chic Line, Not Literally
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Glossy News Implicated In Wikileaks Treason Scandal

Office Of Homeland Security, Washington, D.C. To the Editor Brian K. White, In the latest Wikileaks exposure, a document has been released that we find to be very disturbing. It is a missive sent via what are supposed to be…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News Implicated In Wikileaks Treason Scandal
Posted in Television

Leno Heckled by the Ghost of Johnny Carson

After dispatching Conan O’Brien from the helm of “The Tonight Show”, Jay Leno returned triumphant months ago, only to be confronted by the heckling ghost of Johnny Carson, apparently still haunting the late-night set. Appearing nightly for months during Leno’s monologue,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Leno Heckled by the Ghost of Johnny Carson
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Bush Vetoes Nutcracker Appearance Claiming it Sounds Too Painful

George Bush has told his wife Laura that there is no way he is going to accompany her to any ballet, let alone a ballet titled the Nutcracker. “Is she nuts?” asked George, who added, “no pun intended, heh heh…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bush Vetoes Nutcracker Appearance Claiming it Sounds Too Painful
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Technology

Wikileaks Insider Leak: Assange is Developing Nuclear Capabilities

United States intelligence sources are claiming that Wilileaks Founder, Julian Assange’s recent release of highly sensitive cables is just the tip of the iceberg of what Assange is truly capable of. They paint the picture of a man who considers…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Wikileaks Insider Leak: Assange is Developing Nuclear Capabilities
Posted in Entertainment

The Salahis Wounded Crashing 50 Cent’s Christmas Party

Last year’s Whitehouse state dinner crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi were critically wounded last night while crashing rap-artist 50 Cent’s Christmas blow-out. Details remain sketchy, however, several witnesses reported an altercation erupted shortly after the couple entered 50 Cent’s residence….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Salahis Wounded Crashing 50 Cent’s Christmas Party
Posted in Biz News Human Interest

Thanksgiving Over; Needy Back in Storage

Preliminary reports say this year’s Project ISFC exceeded all expectations. Project I’m So Freaking Compassionate, begun several years ago in Southern California, has now expanded to most of the United States. This year, Thanksgiving meals were served cafeteria fashion to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Thanksgiving Over; Needy Back in Storage
Posted in Politics Science

Sarah Palin’s Mojo Explained by Voodoo Research

Scientists researching the phenomena of Politically Incorrect Mass Propaganda Syndrome (PIMPS) announced a breakthrough into the biggest question of 2010: “What makes Sarah Palin perpetually politically relevant?” After statistically modeling data from thousands of successful people, researchers contend that the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sarah Palin’s Mojo Explained by Voodoo Research
Posted in News In Your Briefs

U.S. Gov’t Plays “Whack-a-Mole” to Combat Online Piracy

In a futile effort to combat file-sharing, the ICE (a division of the DHS) has begun whacking down websites suspected of copyright infringement. So far, the score is 70, 75, or 76, depending on who’s counting. A spokesman for the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! U.S. Gov’t Plays “Whack-a-Mole” to Combat Online Piracy
Posted in Kidz Zone Strange People

Boy 14, Cracks Skull in Attempt to Board Hogwarts Express

London, England (Glossy News) – Paramedics arrived at London King’s Cross Railway Station on September 1st at 11:13 a.m. after a teenage boy of fourteen years cracked his scull in an attempt to get to platform 9¾ from the very…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Boy 14, Cracks Skull in Attempt to Board Hogwarts Express
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Human Interest

Glossy News Guide: The Five People You Will Meet In Hell

DETROIT, Mich. (Glossy News) — Coming years after the much lauded success of his beloved novel, “The Five People You Meet In Heaven,” author Mitch Albom now returns to the best seller charts with “The Five People You Meet In…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News Guide: The Five People You Will Meet In Hell
Posted in Politics

Palin Develops Warts On Her Nose- Her Career Tanks

In a horrifying situation that would destroy the morale of many political pundits, Republican spokeswoman Sarah Palin has developed hideous warts on her face. Since their appearance Ms. Palin’s polls have dropped drastically. Statisticians estimate that the normally sexy and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Palin Develops Warts On Her Nose- Her Career Tanks
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

NPR to Use FOX Tactics to Survive In Modern US Media Climate

The recent Juan Williams firing scandal has led National Public Radio to realize that they need to develop more FOX News type media tactics if they are to survive. A radical top to bottom make-over has been ordered for the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NPR to Use FOX Tactics to Survive In Modern US Media Climate
Posted in Crime War Zone

‘Wannabe’ Terrorist Punk’d In Portland… Aw, Snap

PORTLAND, Ore GlossyNews.com — Taking their cue from the genius of Ashton Kutcher, the FBI staged an elaborate prank on a Corvallis, OR teenager who thought he was part of a Jihadist plot to kill Christmas. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, 19,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! ‘Wannabe’ Terrorist Punk’d In Portland… Aw, Snap
Posted in Making Headlines

Republicants Show True Colors- Let Poor Die From Lack Of Healthcare But Let Rich Keep Tax Breaks.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Republicants Show True Colors- Let Poor Die From Lack Of Healthcare But Let Rich Keep Tax Breaks.
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Travel

U.S. Gastronomical Travel Guide For Gourmet Zombies

Fans of brains everywhere, rejoice! Here is the first in-print guide to fine brain dining wherever you may be in the US. Our ghoulish researchers have spent many dark, moonlit nights partaking of the cuisine available throughout this great land….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! U.S. Gastronomical Travel Guide For Gourmet Zombies
Posted in War Zone

Bush’s Secret: Sears was Target

WILLIS TOWER LOBBY, CHICAGO (Glossy News)—Former Pres G.W. Bush, who prefers to be known as W, visited Chicago to promote his forgettable memoir, My Distant Points: As Opposed to 41’s Vision Thing the other day. In what his press release…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bush’s Secret: Sears was Target