Posted in World News

Kim Jong Il Crush on Bill Richardson Intensifies after Latest Visit

Kim Jong Il is said to still be talking about the wonderful visit he had with his “American GI buddy” earlier this month. Those who know Kim Jong Il intimately claim that it was no coincidence that Richardson was chosen…

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Posted in Politics

Cindy McCain’s Chic Haircut Causes Senate Upheaval

PRESCOTT, AZ — GlossyNews.com: Re-elected Sen. John McCain, going on 74, seemed to coast to victory in November, easily beating Tuscon Democrat Rodney Glassman to hang onto his Arizona Senate seat. But his wife’s new chic haircut got major press,…

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Posted in Human Interest

Pot Tops Booze as Most Popular Adult X-mas Gift this Year

Forget slippers and socks, power tools for the guys and tennis bracelets and earrings for the gals, this year for the first time, marijuana (pot) is the most sought after gift, both for giving and receiving. While spirits and wine…

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Posted in Human Interest

Jailed Chinese Dissident on Nobel Prize: Thanx F-ing Loads

The Western world was excited this week at news the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to imprisoned Chinese democracy advocate Xi Liang Jing. Media watchers are in consensus on the surprising development. If not for the unfortunately timed…

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Posted in Crime Politics

Investigation of Elizabeth Edwards Death Announced

Senator Denton R. Fender (R-TX) this week revealed hearings will begin in January regarding the suspicious death of Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former Presidential hopeful John Edwards. The press release hints at a scandal so diabolical, DC pundits are already…

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Posted in Crime Religionism

God Confirms Intervention in Florida School Board Shooting

Panama City, FL. (GlossyNews.com) – School superintendent Bill Husfelt, who survived a gunman’s vendetta during a board meeting on Tuesday, claims God protected him when suspect Clay Duke opened fire on him and his colleagues. “God was standing in front…

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Posted in Making Headlines

Australian Threatens Entire U.S. With His Publishing Of ‘Secrets”

Damn Rupert Murdoch and his FOX News crap!

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Posted in Biz News

Walmart Buys Exclusive Rights to Christmas, Axes Controversial “Jesus”

In a sweeping move today Walmart has bought the entire rights to Christmas and all its accessories. The move is designed to give Walmart control over the popular holiday and to help shore up the retail giant as being the…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Miley Cyrus Bongs are a Hit This Christmas

In this era of economic uncertainty, it’s easy to forget that millionaire child traffickers have it rough sometimes too. So the struggles of Miley Cyrus, Inc. have been a sadly ignored story, supplanted in the news by stuff about families…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Gays in military ask for more fashionable fatigues

Washington, DC – On the high heels of the historic vote to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” openly gay troops are now pushing for the Pentagon to bring in the top fashion designers to create more stylish uniforms. Dubbing it…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

DREAM Act may signal Acronym Deficit

Washington DC is filled with unelected bureaucrats who wield powerful influence behind the scenes, far away from cameras. Glossy News sat down this week with one such powerful, unelected face, retiring Senate Marketing Liaison Bob Barnum. The garrulous, gregarious Barnum…

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Posted in Politics

John Boehner Claims Unemployed Should Work for Their Benefits

Republican House Speaker hopeful, John Boehner, recently commenting on the vote to extend unemployment benefits for the nation’s millions of unemployed workers, claimed that no one in this country should be getting a free ride. “If the unemployed want to…

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Posted in Top Stories

FBI says Weather Forcaster is Passing Drug Code

CHICAGO —BobZaguy A local Chicago weather forecaster was arrested by the FBI Drug Unit during WFMT’s Friday 10:00 AM local news broadcast. The charge was transmitting drug messages over the public air waves, a federal crime punishable by 5 to…

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Posted in Top Stories World News

New Wikileaks Revelations are Worst Yet

It now appears to observers that Wikileaks is a powerful and permanent force in world affairs. The apprehension of founder Julian Asshinge has become a call to arms for hundreds of anonymous kindred spirits. The bell has tolled on the…

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