Cindy McCain’s Chic Haircut Causes Senate Upheaval

PRESCOTT, AZ — Re-elected Sen. John McCain, going on 74, seemed to coast to victory in November, easily beating Tuscon Democrat Rodney Glassman to hang onto his Arizona Senate seat. But his wife’s new chic haircut got major press, and this threw the 5-term senator into a major funk.

“I am older than dirt, I have more scars than Frankenstein and I won by a fucking 25% margin, yet my wife’s haircut gets more press than I can afford to buy!” reasoned the senator.

She is garnering all sorts of attention for her chic new cut. A more modern cut than she was sporting two years ago during the Presidential race.

“Christ almighty! I am supposed to be the family bread-winner here and one fucking hair cut gets ahead of my press.”

Cindy McCain is back in the spotlight. And daddy is not happy!

Still signature blonde, Cindy’s hair is now short and choppy with layers of locks framing her face. She has also added lowlights and highlights which give dimension and depth.

“How am I supposed to be able to counter a $250 million heiress in the press?” He asked. “I lose. That’s how. And she is my fucking wife on top of it all.”

Then as he walked away from the microphone, the senator said, “Well, there are 99 senators and one president who aren’t going to like me for a long time after this. I am going to make the Senate of the United States the fall guy for this. Just wait and see. Gone are immigration reform, tax reform, DADT, you name it, It’s gone.

F’ing C.”


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