Search Results for: cnn
WHAT?! Putin Accuses UK Gov Of Satirical, Russian Double Agent Murder In Moscow
The Kremlin has angrily accused the British Government of assassinating an ex-MI6 double agent, resident in Moscow. Alexei Smithski was crushed to death last week when a large, trapezoidal, cast iron weight, labelled ‘10 Tons’ fell on his head. Moscow…
Ghost of PT Barnum Watches Screener of ‘The Greatest Showman,’ Commits to Haunting Hugh Jackman
Famed circus man and sensationalist P.T. Barnum was resurrected last week, coughing and spitting as he was reanimated from his sarcophagus, to watch a bootleg screener of “The Greatest Showman” starring Hugh Wolverine. To say he wasn’t impressed would be…
CIA Hymnbook (IX): How Do I Love Greed
Guest post by Lisa Way. How do I love greed? Let me count the ways. I love greed to the depth and breadth and height My drones can reach, when I’m safe and out of sight.
Militant Gamers Vs X-Box Censors: ‘SAD, PATHETIC LOSERS with a Lot of Time on Their Hands!!!!’
The recent decision to remove X Box users for cursing while Microsoft merrily trawl their data has resulted in a serious backlash. X-Box gamers are now accusing Micosoft of being idle, unfocused losers who have nothing better to do than…
Mark Zuckerberg Removed from World’s Richest Humans List on a Technicality
Cunning Valley resident and sneaky human analog Mark Zuckerberg has been removed from the Forbes Richest list on the technicality that he has failed to provide proof of his humanity.
CIA Hymnbook (VIII): First They Came for the Neocons
The government, the establishment and the Deep State are the most persecuted people in the world. Here is a magical incantation that will keep you all safe from foreign enemies and domestic dissidents.
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Nazism is the White Nationalism of Peace (Justin Antitheist Guest Post)
The beliefs of the Charlottesville terrorist had nothing to do with this act of terrorism. I learned from Obama that to call it “racist terrorism” is bigotry against other racists and that this terrorism has nothing to do with racism….
Army Forgets Weapons, Loses War
The small European nation of Chevroni lost its war with the Middle Eastern nation Texico last Sunday after forgetting to bring the weapons. “It happens,” said Chevroni General Stephen Stanford. “We had them all ready to go, but then things…
Trump’s Most Harebrained Policy Suggestions Yet!
Straight outa Twitter! 1. Criminalize hate speech against corporations. Corporations are people too, and they have feelings!