New Documentary Explores When Hippies Roamed the Earth

The 1970s were a glorious time when hippies roamed the Earth, streaking was encouraged, and you could literally throw empty beer cans out the window while driving. But there are many questions about this era that have long baffled sociologists. Many have searched for clues, for example, as to why the people from this era, known as hippies, dressed in gaudy, often flammable, garments. Others have wondered why the music of the era featured story songs about cats.

Answers to these questions have been hard to come by as the hippies are now mostly extinct, or running hedge funds. However, noted anthropologist Mark Morpheus, who has been tracking hippies for over two decades in their natural habitat, has published a new book that may shed some light on this fascinating species.

Morpheus was kind enough to share excerpts from his new book, “Evolution of Pre-Live Aid Man: The Gordon Lightfoot Period,” documenting his first encounter with them. Read more New Documentary Explores When Hippies Roamed the Earth


Moviegoers Catch Up on Sleep During First Man

Fans of sleeping in comfortable movie chairs are excited about the release of First Man, the latest in the Hollywood tradition of boring movies about space.

“We’re proud of First Man. We think it’s the most boring movie about space ever, and that’s saying a lot,” said producer, Robert Weinbergersteen. “We know the fans go to space movies to get away from it all and escape their lives for a few hours. They really appreciate the opportunity to escape to a dark movie theater, sit in comfortable chairs, not be bothered by phone calls or texts, kids, bosses, spouses, and just fall asleep for two hours.”

Read more Moviegoers Catch Up on Sleep During First Man


New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand

A new study by the Center for National Studies has found that people who punch walls are likely to hurt their hands.

This breakthrough research took the scientific community by surprise as it was previously believed that punching a hard, immovable object would have no impact at all on one’s health. Read more New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand


Army Forgets Weapons, Loses War

The small European nation of Chevroni lost its war with the Middle Eastern nation Texico last Sunday after forgetting to bring the weapons.

“It happens,” said Chevroni General Stephen Stanford. “We had them all ready to go, but then things got crazy, we were running late, and the next thing you know, we forgot them.” Read more Army Forgets Weapons, Loses War


Baseball’s Greatest Dicks

Spring is here, a time when young men’s fancies turn to begging their parents not to make them play Little League. Baseball has become one of the least popular sports among kids these days, dropping below competitive standing. However, to many us of older folks, it’s still the greatest game ever played in pajamas. Read more Baseball’s Greatest Dicks