Sick Of Fighting In Mideast, World Builds Wall Around Israel And Palestine.
A spontaneously assembled group of nations, tired of the constant turmoil coming out of Israel and Palestine, have built a wall entirely surrounding both lands. These countries, after attempting for years to introduce peace initiatives to both lands, finally reached…
Scientists Dismayed As BP Throws More Oil-Absorbent Cash at Gulf
Since the 2010 explosion on the Deep Water Horizon offshore oil rig, which killed 11 people and spilled 205 million gallons of crude oil, British Petroleum has been pumping billions of oil-absorbing dollar bills into the Gulf of Mexico and…
Mitt Romney Places Personal Ad in Wall Street Journal for ‘Friend’
Former GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney took out a classified ad today in the Wall Street Journal seeking a new friend to “pal around with.” “I have everything money can buy,” Romney said in an interview, “but I have never…
2012 – The Year in Review, Part 2: July – December
We continue this week with Part II of Glossy News’ Annual Year in Review for 2012. If you missed Part I, don’t worry, you didn’t miss much. But you can check it out here. Let’s continue now with the Year…
The Extendables- Four Ex-Presidents Fight for Their Right to Get Back in the Saddle
Four ex-Presidents. Four hearts still filled with a passion for the game. Together they form a super team- THE EXTENDABLES!!!!!! The tale of first class Presidents now turned into first class fighting machines. Able to rip old legislation apart with…
Honey Boo Boo Ups Salary Demand to Include Twinkies Bonus
Alana Thompson, the child star of the reality hit (by the lowest standards possible) series Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was told on Friday that her favorite snack food, Twinkies, were no longer going to be sold in stores and…
2012 – The Year in Review, Part 1: January – June
As has been the proud tradition of this prestigious news publication since 1975, it is time for Glossy News’ Annual Year in Review for 2012, where we look back at the important news stories of the past twelve months that…
Conjoined Twins Arrested for Statutory Rape
Two days ago, local celebrities of Rockville, Maryland, Vicky and Lisa Hancock, both fourteen years old, were taken into police custody on charges of statutory rape and incest. The girls, whose conjoining makes them look like one person with two…
Heartwarming Story Emerges out of Massacre in Sudan
While unearthing a mass grave in the South of Sudan, a country where religious division fuels an ethnic cleansing that provides a bloody front for a resource war, a Red Cross forensics worker found a puppy, alive among the remains…
Police Boot Respected Glossy News Writer From Japan
Tokyo, Japan – (GlossyNews.com) – A respected writer from the world’s second oldest spoof news site was hurriedly whisked away from the Japanese capital after police authourites found him ‘leering and staring with his trousers down’ at a group of…