Conjoined Twins Arrested for Statutory Rape


Two days ago, local celebrities of Rockville, Maryland, Vicky and Lisa Hancock, both fourteen years old, were taken into police custody on charges of statutory rape and incest.

The girls, whose conjoining makes them look like one person with two heads, said that they were not ashamed of what they had done and would happily do it again when I had the opportunity of interviewing them.

“I don’t get what all the big fuss is about,” Lisa stated. “I mean, it’s natural, right? And why did it feel so good if it’s so wrong? That’s what I want to know. Is what we were taught in sex-ed wrong?”

“It’s true,” Vicky joined in. “We’ve always been taught that masturbation is a natural, risk-free way of relieving tension, now we’ve been arrested for it. I’ll never pay attention in class again, it only gets you in trouble with the police.”

The Hancock twins make a good point. Why shouldn’t there be exceptions in certain laws for people like them? The next thing you know, whoever marries one of them will be arrested for bigamy.

Image by Ichigo121212 from Pixabay


Incest is still illegal in most countries, apart from Europe. And most states. Apart from this one. If it’s an animal, though, you’re good to go in as many as 10 US states. As long as you’re not married to ’em, of course. There are plenty of new developments

in the wacky world of sex,  so Glossy News Satire  are sure to keep you posted!


Author: Sheogorath

As an Autie with a very warped imagination (IOO) and an extremely wicked sense of humour (IMO), I make quite a good satirist (also IMO), especially when writing songs about fanfiction, the Internet, or Disney.

13 thoughts on “Conjoined Twins Arrested for Statutory Rape

  1. Regardless if it’s satire or not, using their photos and using a fake story with it could be be seen by them or their fans as libel or slander, maybe defamation of character. You know if somebody seen this and didn’t know the real story of the twins in the pic, they could end up seeing them someday and do something because they believed this stupid post.

  2. Lol…. even if it happened to be true it makes no sense whatsoever! Who were they supposed to have committed "statutory rape" against any? Each other…? Sooooo that means one of them is over 18 and the other is not. Well the older one must have had one hell of a life before her sister was born…. walking around with her mother literally ON her should! Lmfao… yeah if you could GUESS this was a satire page there's a big problem that you may want to consult a physician about;)~

  3. Stupid fake story, idiots will buy anything, and the world is full of idiots. As for the actual twins in the picture, they are an inspiration to lots of folks when it comes to overcoming obstacles. I would like to meet them, but the paparazzi can stay the fuck home that day.

  4. That’s the Henshel twins, but the two dudes with them look like a pair of dweebs, geebitz one and geebitz two. One is bald, the other has plastic hair glued to his head.

  5. The girls in the picture are named Abby and Brittany Hensel. they are conjoined twins and they are from minnesota! They have never been arrested for any such thing! Shame on the person that posted these lies!

  6. @ Madison Davis: If you mean the image is fake, then you’re wrong. It’s a photograph of conjoined twins who are famous and have been all over US TV.

  7. @ Madison Davis: If you mean the photograph is fake, then you’re wrong. It’s an image of conjoined twins who are famous and have been all over US TV.

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