Justin Bieber May Soon Start Using Heroin, Meth According to Experts

Experts examining a recent photo of Justin Bieber smoking marijuana fear that the youthful pop star may soon graduate to harder drugs such as heroin and methamphetamines.

“Pot is a gateway drug to harder substances”, said Los Angeles youth counselor Sister Mary Francis Hardon. “And it will make him want to have sex! Can you imagine that young man having sex with all those disgusting, youthful girls who shove their breasts and vaginas into his face! It’s appalling!”

Sister Hardon was reminded that Bieber has already had sex with pop star Selena Gomez and probably many others.

“Then it’s too late to save him! May God have mercy on his soul!” she cried.

Beliebers, however, need not worry since there are Florida heroin addiction centers who would be more than willing to help their idol should he overdose. That is, if he ODs in Miami and not in LA.

Some people thought Bieber was simply going through a “faze” and he would not suffer irreparable harm. “Hey, if I was a pop star I’d be toking up a few dubes”, said Arizona construction worker Alan Zweible. “And I’d invite every one of them gals back to my room after the show if ya know what I mean”.

Bieber himself was nonchalant about the whole episode. “So I’m drinking and smoking pot”, the youthful entertainer said. “I might get into harder stuff and burn out in a few years but just you wait. I’m coming back.”

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4 comments on “Justin Bieber May Soon Start Using Heroin, Meth According to Experts

  1. I'm pretty sure God made us want to have sex, when he designed our reproductive system and our brain? Or are hormones just the devil?

  2. This is a typical rant by a Religious “Mental Defective”. This article claims to represent “Experts”. There is NO SUCH THING as a “Religious Expert”. The VAST majority of those who are Fervently Religious are simply “a bit slow”, the REST are Flat Out Mentally ill.

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