Florida Woman Makes Son Turn Down TV to “Conserve Sound”

A Jacksonville, Florida native has drawn widespread attention after asking her son to turn down his television in order to save sound.

Gladys Welsh, age 83, was heard yelling to her son Timmy, age 45, to lower the volume on his set and conserve sound Thursday evening. A digital recording of the incident was leaked to the press on Friday morning, igniting the public firestorm.

During interviews with local press, Welsh spoke of her concern that the valuable natural resource of sound is being wasted by man-made activities and demanded immediate action by the state and federal governments. In her words, “We have to turn up the hearing aids so people realize what is at stake in this great country if they refuse to protect the limited supply of sound.”

To demonstrate her worries, the sound preservation advocate cranked up her radio to max and let it play for five minutes before flipping the power switch. “Where is all that sound now?” she asked a reporter. “Let me help you: it’s gone.”

Republican Party State Senator Bob Gabriel strongly condemned Mrs. Welsh’s arguments, calling them Glorified anti-American fiddlesticks.” He is expected to call a special session in the Florida Legislature to expose the alleged “environmentalist scam” by bringing in top experts including Donald Trump and Herman Cain.

Former vice president Al Gore is investigating the issue in hopes of expanding the debate on climate change to include sound’s effect on the ozone layer.

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