Apple’s iOS 7 to Feature Impressive, Radically Redesigned Glitches
CUPERTINO, CALIF — Apple recently unveiled the new iOS 7 operating system, which CEO Tim Cook is hailing as “the most radical redesign of iOS glitches since the iPhone was invented.” According to Apple’s VP of Software Engineering, Leonard Umbrage,…
Evil Again Seeps Into Our Lives (Not the IRS This Time Either)
Ding dong the witch is back! Blown in by a rouge wind from the north, the bitch whom I literally can’t stand returns. Even my hopes that the wretched bowel movement of life Roger Ailes would not have any future…
Alcoholism and Mommy Issues Meet in the Crosshairs (comic)
If you’ve ever had the opportunity to tele-commute, you surely know the joys of being drunk at work. Today, our resident cartoonist Brian K. White takes it to a new level by adding it to a whole ridiculous layer of…
Power Wheels Offer Green Solution
NEW YORK- Mattel, parent company of the popular toy brand Power Wheels, has announced their bid in to the economic future of this country. They have announced a partnership with the Ford Motor Company to begin selling Power Wheels on…
North Carolina Outlaws Free Thought
A new bill was introduced today in the North Carolina senate to outlaw the human thought process. This bill was in response to the recent “Moral Monday” protests that have caused havoc in the state house. With the recent changes…
I Met a Hotty on Reddit (comic)
Oh man, this “girl” I met is just so awesome. We have the same interests and everything. I tell her what I like, then about 5-hours later she writes back with remarkably specific things about my interest. Like as if…
Obama Drones on about Unmanned Aerial Vehicles
Drones actually are the “cure-all” for terrorism. At yesterday’s presidential press conference, President Obama talked for an abnormally long time about policy shift in his administration’s use of unmanned aerial vehicles in the war against terrorism. The president’s statements effectively…
Batman to Spend More Time in Jail than Rapists
Gotham— Crime rates have dramatically dropped in this great city since the emergence of Batman. With the government’s best in the pockets of Gotham’s worst, it seemed like the role of the law was to look the other way. That’s…
Jesus Forgives (almost) Everything (comic)
Did you know your sins can be absolved? Did you know your conviction can be overturned in the afterlife? Even if you’ve been sentenced to 15-consecutive life sentences, once you die, you’re absolved and free. That’s the power of Jesus….