NEW YORK- Mattel, parent company of the popular toy brand Power Wheels, has announced their bid in to the economic future of this country. They have announced a partnership with the Ford Motor Company to begin selling Power Wheels on their car lots.
Mattel CEO, Bryan G. Stockton, excitedly told reporters about the move at the New York Stock Exchange.
“This is exactly what America needs right now. The American auto industry has endured the reputation of being environmentally unconscionable for far too long. This is a step in the right direction for all parties involved.”
RIGHT: Owner so proud of his new electric Mustang, he has alienated every one he once loved. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)
Similarly, the CEO for Ford Motor Company Allan Mulally expressed his excitement for the joint venture.
“I began to seriously consider the idea after I bought my grandson a Power Wheels Ford Mustang. It was tastefully scaled back, but had many modern amenities such as Bluetooth accessibility, iPhone integration, and power locks. Just watching him go around the neighborhood and pick up six year old girls made me realize he was on to something.”
The initial sales in test markets have seemed to prove these men right. Even though the Power Wheels being sold match the same specifications as the toy versions sold in other stores, the allure of them being on a lot apparently has made them more desirable.
“I had always thought that these things were just for kids,” explains Ford salesman Jared Palmer of White Plains, New York. “I guess with all the rising gas prices, people are simply looking for a more economic answer to get to work.”
This craze doesn’t seem to be only effecting the common man. Celebrities are jumping on the Power Wheels bandwagon and can be seen driving them amongst gas guzzlers on Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles.
“I thought that this was just some stupid fad until I saw Cameron Diaz driving her bubble gum pink Barbie Power Wheels Jeep,” 23 year old waitress Christina Davenport said while being interviewed buying her brand new Power Wheels Ford Explorer. “I mean, she really cares about the environment. Needless to say, I had to go out and get one. You know, because I care about trees and stuff.”
Some opposition has risen from several environmental activist groups claiming the out dated batteries used for these vehicles are inefficient and ultimately raise energy consumption through the power grid.
When asked about the proposed allegations, Executive Chairman William Clay Ford, Jr. stated “Haters are going to hate. They’re just hating on our new innovations to save this country from the reckless and impetuous business decisions that brought Detroit to its knees. We’re back baby!”
The Obama administration has taken notice to the efforts made by both companies. Acting administrator of the EPA, Bob Perciasepe announced in a press release that “more companies should take the initiative shown by Ford and Mattel. Too long have American corporations pitted themselves against each other.” He went on to add, “ this is a step in the right direction.”
President Obama has also expressed some interest in replacing the presidential motorcade with the new environmentally friendly Power Wheel option.
Other car companies seem to be taking note by trying to create their own line of electronically powered cars. Chevrolet unveiled their new Volt at the Detroit auto show where on lookers all agreed it was a novel toy.
“This isn’t just a large step for Mattel,” explains Stockton. “This is a brave day for America. We will no longer be the laughing stock of the world for our lack of efforts made on energy consumption. We will ride our battery powered Bigfoot monster truck through the horizon in to the future.”