Posted in Music Politics

Presidential Hopeful Rand Paul Says Terrorists Have Better Music

Cleveland Ohio – On August 6th the presidential hopefuls for the Republican party gathered in attempts to remind people that Donald Trump is not a real candidate. Among the cocks in the cluster fuck were Governor Chris “Bridge-y McHugs” Christie…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Crime

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release

Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out. Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door…

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Posted in Human Interest Television

Christmas Miracle Leaves Woman Bored

LIFEMARK FAMILYTOWN, USA – Today Melody Christmas (40) is a woman who has it all. She is a mother of two, wife of an artsy-rugged-rich sensitive male, and CEO of a multinational bakery-café-puppy store chain. But a few weeks before…

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Posted in Internets Tubes Strange People

Original Poster Is Actually a Bundle of Sticks

Today the internet was shocked and quite frankly a little turned on by a new discovery: OP (or original poster) is a faggot. Internet researchers are still trying to figure out how a bundle of sticks is responsible for every…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Human Interest

Mourner of Paul Walker Attacked over “Irony”

VALENCIA, California – Those close to Paul Walker and people just trying to get on the news gathered at a memorial for the “Fast and Furious” actor who had died in a single-car crash with his friend in Valencia. He…

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Posted in Human Interest

Dark Day for Homophobes on Facebook

MISSISSIPPI— Paula McClure (48) a housewife and occasional churchgoer, was watching television. Not Netflix on a television, but honest to God TV with commercials and all. Today Paula has disconnected from the internet entirely because the Supreme Court ruled that…

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Posted in Crime

Batman to Spend More Time in Jail than Rapists

Gotham— Crime rates have dramatically dropped in this great city since the emergence of Batman. With the government’s best in the pockets of Gotham’s worst, it seemed like the role of the law was to look the other way. That’s…

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