Categorized | Comics, Religionism

Jesus Forgives (almost) Everything (comic)

Jesus Forgives (almost) Everything (comic)

Did you know your sins can be absolved? Did you know your conviction can be overturned in the afterlife? Even if you’ve been sentenced to 15-consecutive life sentences, once you die, you’re absolved and free. That’s the power of Jesus.

You don’t have to live virtuously, just accept Him as your lord and savior. You can continue shooting smack, smacking your woman, and womanizing your neighborhood children… just so long as you love your Christ, accept him as the one true son of God, and maybe throw a few bucks at the church.

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

I get missionaries at my door much too often, and I love sharing with them my vision of what their Christ is. They never seem to see it my way, but then again, if I wanted to share a vision with them eye-to-eye, they’d have to poke me in the eyes Three Stooge style just to make me sufficiently myopic.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

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This post was written by

- who has written 525 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.

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