The Changes to European Club Rugby – Americans Indifferent
There are massive changes afoot in the world of Rugby Union. While there has been some agreement recently as to the future of the sport, there are still many obstacles to overcome. Following an 18-month impasse, the six unions involved…
Entire Population of Indiana Tired of This Sh*t
INDIANAPOLIS – Citing various factors, ranging from the lack of viable job opportunities to the general malaise of winter, the entire population of Indiana announced Saturday that it is so goddamn tired of this shit, adding: “really?”. Holy effing shart,…
Drunken Governor Sells Indiana Back to Native Americans
INDIANAPOLIS – Calling it the most regrettable legislative decision of his career, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels – apparently under the influence of alcohol – agreed to sell the entire state of Indiana back to the Native Americans Saturday. According to…
Blowback from Koch Story from (Un)likely A-Hole
We recently ran a story about the infamous Koch brothers’ wealth. Their wealth has increased $33 billion since the horrible Obama took office, but apparently that’s not enough of a story for some random jackass from the internet. So let’s…
Woman’s Weight Spirals Worryingly Under Control
YORKTOWN – During the post-Christmas period, friends and relatives of local woman Angela Hartman today noted how, in the last year, the 38-year-old’s weight has spiraled worryingly under control. Insisting that Miss Hartman “looks as if she hasn’t eaten in…
Mega-Millionaire Ricky Gervais Sells Out Stephen Merchant
Ricky Gervais blessed the sitcom world with the creation of “The Office” and numerous other brilliant shows. But it seems he’s forgotten what made him great as he threw his longtime friend and comedy partner Stephen Merchant under the bus….
Since Breakup From Orlando Bloom, Many Men Now Fantasizing About Miranda Kerr
After reports surfaced that former Victoria’s Secrets model Miranda Kerr has split from her husband Orlando Bloom, millions of men admit to having fantasies about dating or having sex with her. “Goddamn she’s single now!” exclaimed Nebraska construction worker Gerald…
God Getting Worryingly Into Disaster Movies
HEAVEN – In what proved a serious concern for the International Community Saturday, unconfirmed sources described how His Lordship Almighty God has “really been getting into the disaster movie genre recently,” adding: “He’s watched Twister, like, 8 times in the…
All Time Most Horrific Haunted House; The House of Women w/ PMDD
A new haunted house has been set up in Boulder Colorado that seems set to rank as the most frightening of all time- the House Of Women With PMDD. Halloween spook houses are all the rage here on the Front…
Non-Partisan Partisan Groups Terrorizing Republicans, Democrats Alike
Sick of the constant bickering between the two major political parties in America and the endless difficulties if makes for the common man, small groups of non-partisan partisan groups have taken to hiding in the woods and in the cellars…