Blowback from Koch Story from (Un)likely A-Hole

We recently ran a story about the infamous Koch brothers’ wealth. Their wealth has increased $33 billion since the horrible Obama took office, but apparently that’s not enough of a story for some random jackass from the internet.

So let’s give “Kevin from Connecticut” his fair ounce of air time.

I’ll hasten to point out that Kevin could have just posted this as a comment, either by having an active, valid Facebook login, or just by using the moderated but unfiltered on-site comments at the bottom of literally every article on the entire site.

Kevin from Connecticut wrote:

You A**HOLES can make up stories of the Koch Brothers but look at you making as much money as you can by seeling [sic] your s**t on the net and selling ads, who is the rich guy!

First of all, what? And secondly… so many secondlies.

Let’s go point by point:

You A**HOLES can make up stories… We’re not a-holes just because we disagree. Especially when you never bothered to articulate your position in the first place. That’s not just weak, it’s weak of mind, and honestly that’s worse.

If you want to persuade me, you have to make an argument that goes beyond calling me a name my third-grade teacher would have scolded me for.

look at you making as much money as you can by… selling ads… Yep, you’re right. You nailed me. My net worth literally increased by thousands of dollars over the past three years, which is comparable to the net worth increase the Koch brothers enjoyed to the tune of $33 billion in enrichment.

If Obama’s America is so evil to them, how did they amass so much wealth so quickly, after 50-years of trying every trick in the book to do so? It’s like you Koch-heads aren’t even trying anymore.

who is the rich guy!… Um… that would still be the Koch brothers.

If you’re a paid shill, I hope they know they’re not getting their money’s worth. The typos, the obscenities, the need for me to draw attention once again to the original story. You’re really doing a disservice to the evil overlords whom you serve.

But I appreciate you dropping us a line, I hope you’ll come back and comment frequently, since your comments aren’t merely stanky zombie sharts all over these pages, but insightful and valuable commentary, even if only according to dung beetles.

In the future, leave your comments where they belong: in the comments section. And try not to use such foul language. I didn’t talk to your mother like that last night when I was… you know… helping take her groceries out to her car. What, you thought I was going to insult the dignity of your mother? Show some respect dude, she gave birth to you!

Comments welcome, but fill them out below.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.