Entire Population of Indiana Tired of This Sh*t

INDIANAPOLIS – Citing various factors, ranging from the lack of viable job opportunities to the general malaise of winter, the entire population of Indiana announced Saturday that it is so goddamn tired of this shit, adding: “really?”.

Holy effing shart, declared everyone Saturday

According to reports, all 6.5 million residents took issue this weekend with the fact that, in some way or another, someone or something is totally screwing them over in life and, come Hell or high water, a person is going to pay for this, you hear?

Hell yes, they are, sources confirmed.

This kind of bullshit has gone on long enough, agreed Hoosiers everywhere, and we’re not going to take it anymore.

Deciding that no one else knows what it’s like to haul ass eight hours a day only to receive no pay raise in two years, thousands of individuals across the state declared that this is all just so messed up, you don’t even know.

To top it all off, continued the collective voice, this freaking weather has turned to shit again and, by God, gas has gone up 30 cents since nine o’clock this morning: what the fuck?

Wondering what it has to do to get ahead in this crazy-ass world, meanwhile, the population of Indiana decided late afternoon to just take a much needed break from its shitty life to catch up on re-runs of American Idol.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.