Category: Top Stories
Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clause, Stuns World Leaders into Unscheduled Epic Three Minutes of Silence
Harry Potter breaks Warner Brothers contractual gag-clauses. The wizard reveals What Must Not Be Spoken in the News Media Anywhere in the Muggle World. Here, for the first time, the shocking truth behind why one of the world’s most famous…
Cannabis Product Review & Resource Website Makes History with $1 Billion Internet Money Buyout Offer
(San Francisco, CA) — A recently launched review and community participation website has announced that fictional character Towelie, famous for his role on South Park, has raised enough virtual currency through online pimping services to invest his $1 Billion internet…
Glossy Gets First Hand Account Of Israeli Settlers Taking Over Palestinian Land
A side development of the current Israeli/Palestinian conflict is the Israeli annexing of further Palestinian land for their ever-swelling population of new comers. According to U.N. accords the land once called Palestine was divided into specific and definite sections- determined…
MLB Commissioner Admits He’s “Never Watched Full [Baseball] Game”
NEW YORK – Bud Selig, Commissioner of Major League Baseball, admitted today to a stunned press conference that he has never before watched an entire game of baseball. “It’s just so slow,” confessed the incumbent commissioner of now 22 years….
Top Economists Sagely Call for Wholly Unfundable War
WASHINGTON – Several leading economists have recently called for war as the best means to solve the world’s six-year old economic crisis. Nobel-nominated economist Karl Strauss of the University of Chicago stated: “War is the time-honored cure for economic stagnation.”…
Congress Gets Unusually Creative In Its Ways Of Kicking Down Obama
Just when you would think that Congress (aka Republicans) could not get any more creative in their undermining of just about every move that Obama makes they come with something that leaves you aghast that they actually do possess some…
“Bibi, stop bombing or we’ll cut your bullets,” Obama Tells Netanyahu
Gaza, an open-air prison? Israel’s $3 billion-a-year welfare check threatened? America scolds Israel? STOP THE PRESS!!! A leaked White House transcript of a heated phone-call earlier today reveals that US President Barack Obama told Israel’s Zionist Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu…
Satire Writer Reveals How to Get the Most From Your $100 Hotel Stay
With hotel prices rising and personal income dropping, satire writer NickFun has revealed some clever ways to get the most ‘bang for your buck’ from your hotel stay. “It’s actually pretty easy to get back or even make money from…
Malysian Air Shoots MH17 Down in Bold Strategy to Forget All About MH370
Just when you’ve seen enough out of the Malaysian people, this crazy stuff happens. Malaysian Airline MH17 was shot down, forced to make a crash landing in the Ukraine, killing off passengers by the dozens. It’s a surprise no middle…
Miracle Whip Forsakes Forlorn Food Gobbler
Kraft, purveyor of many fine foods and some others a bit on the course side. To me, they’re the makers of Miracle Whip, and the miracles were nothing short of canonization-worthy. Yes, I’m talking about the now-discontinued dipping and sammy…