MLB Commissioner Admits He’s “Never Watched Full [Baseball] Game”

NEW YORK – Bud Selig, Commissioner of Major League Baseball, admitted today to a stunned press conference that he has never before watched an entire game of baseball.

“It’s just so slow,” confessed the incumbent commissioner of now 22 years. “I keep trying but I always fall asleep around the 3rd or 4th inning.” Read more MLB Commissioner Admits He’s “Never Watched Full [Baseball] Game”

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Billy Beane in attempted trade for Trout: “F*** it”

ANAHEIM – This morning, general manager Billy Beane of the Oakland Athletics attempted the trade of a lifetime.

Jerry Dipoto, GM of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, tells source that Beane contacted him in the early hours of the morning with an offer he “couldn’t refuse.”

Beane called the Dipoto home around 4am and told the former pitcher “F*** it. I’m ready.” He then allegedly tried to offer up the entire 2014 Oakland Athletics roster in exchange for Angels marquee player, Mike Trout. Read more Billy Beane in attempted trade for Trout: “F*** it”

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