Malysian Air Shoots MH17 Down in Bold Strategy to Forget All About MH370

Just when you’ve seen enough out of the Malaysian people, this crazy stuff happens.

Malaysian Airline MH17 was shot down, forced to make a crash landing in the Ukraine, killing off passengers by the dozens. It’s a surprise no middle eastern extremists tried applying for a job, knowing they always have the tendency of crashing planes into stuff.

When the word got out to Prince Barack Hussein Obama, he tried the best he could to consolidate everyone, because what was more important than ignoring your own country’s problems for a while?

We tried talking with Putin one on one about the tragedy and controversy involving his alleged ties to this, but failed to do so. Putin was busy masturbating to gay porn and taking out his confused sexuality self upon the Russian people. You never seem to astonish us sexy Putin. Keep imagining sucking that young boy’s wang.

The mourning individuals of the deceased passengers were compensated with full refunds and told, “Thank you for flying with Malaysian Airlines, please die again soon.”

What kind of people were they? Compensating with refunds and stuff?! No way! These people were pissed! These people wanted more than just a full refund. They wanted first class instead of poor man’s coach and stuff, and they were ready to give it all they had to get to it.

We have to admit, the strategy that Malaysia Airlines pulled off had worked. #MH17 was trending all over Twitter and they would all soon forget about that other airliner that disappeared out of nowhere. There worries were about to end.

The company is now looking for Muslim extremists all over the world to be worthy in flying their award winning planes. The only experience you need to know is how to make the plane lift off. Hurry, before other members of Al-Qaeda beat you to it!

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