Glossy Gets First Hand Account Of Israeli Settlers Taking Over Palestinian Land

A side development of the current Israeli/Palestinian conflict is the Israeli annexing of further Palestinian land for their ever-swelling population of new comers.

According to U.N. accords the land once called Palestine was divided into specific and definite sections- determined parts for the Jews and determined parts for the Arabs.

Since that time Israel has often and often brutally confiscated Arab territory for the immigrants they lure to their land to ensure that they have a large enough population to stave off Arab attacks.

Glossy News was able to get a couple of its intrepid reporters inside a conclave that was seized recently to overhear some of the new Jewish settlers.

The settlers and Netanyahu himself have said that Israel has the right to settle the land because unknown Palestinian assailants captured and killed three Jewish hitchhikers in the area a few weeks ago, setting off the latest skirmishes.

First Israeli Woman Settler: “Oy vey! This is such hard work! I never imagined when I left Brooklyn I would be laying bricks for a walkway!”

Second Israeli Woman Settler: “Neither for me. But back in Russia I would never imagine even having a walkway!”

Third Israeli Woman Settler from Ethiopia: “What is a walkway?”

First I W: “Never you mind; you will come to know.”

Second I W: “It is by Jehovah’s grace we have gotten this land.”

First I W: “Yes, thank Jehovah , those stinking Arabs killed those three boys so we have an excuse to take… I mean, thank Jehovah’s grace we have gotten this land.”

Fourth Israeli Woman: “Stinking thieving Arabs! How much of their land did we get?”

First I W: “This entire hill.”

Fourth I W: “Serves them right. Pig Arab murderers! How many Palestinians have we killed with our missiles, planes and bullets?”

Second I W: “ Almost two thousand.”

Fourth I W: “Two bad we can’t wipe them all out. They are just like Nazi’s!”

Ethiopian I W: “Aren’t the Nazi’s the ones who tried to wipe the Jews out?”

First I W: “Yes, dear. Mind how you are putting the bricks straight.”

Fourth I W: “Or if we could at least put them all in a camp together someplace out of the way.”

Ethiopian I W: “Didn’t the Nazi’s put Jews in concentration camps?”

Second I W: “Surely they did! Careful; that last brick is setting too high.”

Ethiopian I W: “ These Palestinians are all from the same place, aren’t they?”

First I W: “Yes, they are all from inside the fence surrounding Gaza.”

Ethiopian I W: “Why don’t they try to escape?”

Second I W: “My! Don’t they teach you anything in Ethiopia? They would be shot!”

Ethiopian I W: “That is terrible!”

First I W: “ Not as terrible as what the Germans did to us!”

Ethiopian I W: “What else did they do?”

Second I W: “They made us live in ghettos where it was very crowded and hard to get food.”

Ethiopian I W: “Why didn’t they try to escape?”

Fourth I W: “They would have gotten shot!”

Ethiopian I W: “What did they do to survive?”

Fourth I W: “They had to cheat. They had to steal, to bargain, to sneak, to hide underground, to build tunnels, to sneak in arms.”

Ethiopian I W: “Oh, that is terrible! But what causes the Palestinians to be so mad at us?”

First I W: “My, you are such an empty head! Because we keep them inside fences in Gaza.”

Second I W: “Ruthless Arabs! It is good we got this land from them!”

Ethiopian I W: “Why is that?”

Second I W: “They would not have done as much with it. The Palestinians only earn one tenth of what we Israelis do in a year!”

Fourth I W: “It is good we cut off their supplies so that they will not use materials to destroy us.”

Ethiopian I W: Doesn’t that also cut off the supplies they need to build and grow?”

Second I W: “Don’t be a silly head! They are animals. Not a superior race like we are!”

First I W: “They are second in being pigs only to the Germans! They thought they were better than everyone else.”

Fourth I W: “It is better we cut off their supplies so we stay richer than them. A poor Palestinian is a more obedient Palestinian.”

Ethiopian I W: “So how will this ever end?”

All three other I W’s together: “When all the Palestinians are exterminated!”

The conversation went on from there, but the reporters had to leave to puke at the advice of the UN safety escort.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at