Category: Biz News
Leaders Celebrate Leadership for the Infantilized Masses
Dateline: WASHINGTON—On this year’s Leadership Day, leaders from around the world in governments and corporations spoke about the meaning of leadership while the millions of followers showed that they understood by sitting cross-legged in circles, holding hands, and defecating in…
Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder
ANAHEIM, CA—The offices of Walworth and Rhodes were gut-punched with excitement upon seeing that an applicant’s otherwise completely unimpressive résumé had been placed inside a plastic folder. With a work history that made him an unequivocal leper in the job…
Creation Museum Sets Stupidly Low Bar w/ Non-Floating Ark
Ken Ham, while unclean in name only, continues to vie valiantly for the creation of a modern day Ark to prove once and for all that the book of Genesis was written as a literal and true historical account. But…
Used Car Dealer Scores 342% Below Scale [Video]
For the first time in history, a used car dealership has earned a score below zero on the Acham-Norbert Dealer Index, and they didn’t just make history, they set a bar too low to ever beat. Spyder and Rocky Krakauer’s…
Saga of Baby Munoz Brings Joy to the OC
DATELINE: Waco, TX — Many followed the tragic case of Marlise Munoz for the last 6 weeks with anxiety, anguish and great compassion. This was an ethical dilemma wherein, under the protection of Texas law, an unborn fetus remained in…
Duck Dynasty Unveils New Line Of Dog Whistle Calls
Dogpatch, LA – Willie Robertson, CEO and patriarch in waiting for the Duck Dynasty Empire has announced a new line of silent dog whistle calls for non hunters to be rolled out in 2014. The initial lineup will include four…
Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers
WORKERS have spoken of their sadness at a family run plumbing business has gone bust after 33 years trading. A group of plumbers in Louisville, KY announced last night that, the Mario Brothers Plumbing Ltd was to go into administration…
Billionaire Tom Perkins Tweets Walk-Back of Holocaust Comment
San Francisco, CA – Silicon Valley venture capitalist legend Tom Perkins who came under fire for misguided comments comparing the treatment of the rich to holocaust victims responded to critics today on Twitter. “Seriously, I simply don’t understand this obsession…
New Marijuana Laws Spur Highest Home Prices in Years
New numbers have come out in the housing sector, indicating that in the next year, the states of Washington and Colorado will have the highest number of home sales in the country. Some other states are not too far behind….
Psychologists Worried About Growth Of ‘Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome’
Mental authorities are warning of the expansion of a relatively new psychic dysfunction they have named PBFBS- Post Black Friday Buying Syndrome. It is the description given when the shopping instinct that many have developed in many countries continues to…