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Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder

Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder

ANAHEIM, CA—The offices of Walworth and Rhodes were gut-punched with excitement upon seeing that an applicant’s otherwise completely unimpressive résumé had been placed inside a plastic folder.

With a work history that made him an unequivocal leper in the job market, applicant Kirk Scheer had little choice other than to resort to the plastic folder.

“I don’t care who you are or who you know; [a plastic folder] puts you head and shoulders above everyone,” said visibly astounded hiring manager Glenn Busbee. “I’ll personally elbow the throat of anyone who says otherwise.”

“This guy’s not screwing around when it comes to presentation,” he added.

Busbee continued to speak at length about the types of résumés he usually has to sift through and that “a bunch of [applicants] think they can just staple something together and wow us. But this one… this one knows what he’s doing.”

After opening the folder and glancing over the résumé, Busbee threw it in the trash when he saw Scheer majored in communications.

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This post was written by

- who has written 35 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Rusty Shackleford is a comedy writer typing away from a bunker in an undisclosed location.

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3 Responses to “Pathetic Résumé Supercharged by Plastic Folder”

  1. Mad Max says:

    I really like ur cynical style Rusty! That was funny on a lot of levels plus the punchline brought it home. Good job.

  2. P. Beckert says:

    Spoiler alert…Oh hell, I thought he got the job!

  3. Even the title is funny. I think the line about elbowing in the throat is a little jarring, though.

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