A crap-for-brains jobsworth ambulance chief refused to allow his emergency response paramedics to enter six inches of water to treat a man with a fractured spine – as it constituted a breach of heath and safety regulations.

The jinxed Wilf Fuctifino, 95, suffered agonising injuries as he stood in ankle deep water at the Smegmadale Waterpark waiting to take his self-built Scrapheap Challenge jetski out onto the lake when he was hit by a gang of pissed-up yobs joyriding in a stolen powerboat and traveling at 60 knots close to the shoreline in a vandalistic attempt to swamp fishermen with their bow waves. Continue Reading

In the surreal world of overpaid celebrity soccer prima donnas Argentina’s national team manager Diego Maradona has been hit, mugged, fleeced, done over and truly dusted by Italian tax police in the country’s northern province of Bonzo : where the former SSC Napoli star is currently undergoing treatment at a health clinic for ‘stress’ after Argentina’s hopes of qualifying for the 2010 World Cup were shattered in a humiliating 3-1 home defeat by their historic archrivals Brazil in Rosario. Continue Reading

Former CBS Anchor Dan Rather charged today that the network recently spiked a “60 Minutes” interview with Vice President Joe Biden under pressure from the White House. “I heard that Rahm Emanuel previewed the tape and found Biden harder to swallow than day-old habanero chili,” Rather said. Continue Reading

The Centre Court at Wimbledon last Sunday saw a plethora of famous faces and porcine celebrity past-its packed into the stands to watch the men’s singles final between Roger Federer of Cuckoo Clock Land and Andy Roddick of the good ole’ US of A. Continue Reading

In a public statement issued Thursday the Washington DC chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People formally renounced any mistaken identity associated with the National College Athletics Association, despite their many similarities. Continue Reading