Witnesses Spot Roger Goodell Fleeing Stadium With #12 Jersey

When the confetti finally settled in Houston’s NRG Stadium Sunday night, Patriots quarterback and Super Bowl LI MVP noted something was amiss.

It seemed in the excitement, an unknown perpetrator made off with a sweat stained, body odor drenched, torn up, and oversized tee-shirt bearing the number 12. Read more Witnesses Spot Roger Goodell Fleeing Stadium With #12 Jersey

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Tom Brady’s Cheekbones Now Undeniably the Greatest in NFL History

In a stunning comeback that saw records set for the most Super Bowl wins by a quarterback, most passing yards in a Super Bowl, most times as Super Bowl MVP, most catches from a single receiver in the Super Bowl, biggest point deficit recovery, the first Super Bowl overtime, and the most combined firsts and mosts in a Super Bowl…

The New England Patriots once again found themselves at the top of the NFL heap, cementing Tom Brady’s Adonis-like cheekbones as the greatest in football history. Read more Tom Brady’s Cheekbones Now Undeniably the Greatest in NFL History

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Rio 2016 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries

The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which other nations have links simply do not exist.

Two hundred and seven countries were represented at the opening ceremony of Rio 2016, and it is now clear that at least eight had been invented. Read more Rio 2016 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries

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Andy Tate & Louis Van Gaal Respond to Latest Glazer Improvements of Man United

Last time, we told yer all about t’ Glazer family’s shoddy attempts t’ finally sort out United and make ’em all ‘bright, clean & nice-looking guys.’ But ‘ow has this news been received, eh?

Andy Tate rants:

Avram Glazer, yer are a priiiiiize nob! Ya got the business on a flamin’ technicality, all because ah a bloody legend ‘oo as told yer the rest o’ us wooden pay nah mind if yer went on ahead and roooooined us club. Well let me tell ya this, Av…
The name’s Avram Glazer, well Ah’ve ad enough bad treatment rammed down my throat wi’ all yer stupid, stupid business games, yer flamin’ spermburpin’ dingalows!

Louis Van Gaal is less bothered:

I just can’t see what all the fuss is about. I mean, they’re only fans, after all. They should just stop being so arrogant, and thinking it’s all about them!

Anyway, I’m more worried about how much longer we can keep up outclassing Norwich City. This massive purple patch might just be unsustainable. And Even Eric Black is starting to get a bit cocky when he’s trolling me on Twitter. Let me try and get our priorities right!

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Glazers & Manchester United: A Proper Free Market Corporation at Last

Notable across-the-pond sporting enterpreneurs ‘The Glazer lads, PLC.’ have recently decided that the old-fashioned European way of doing football just isn’t financially viable for such a serious enterpreneurial concern as Manchester United Soccer, uh, Whatever Club.

So, they have now renamed their most lucrative business concern yet as the ‘Glazer Family and Co. Manchester, England United-and-Incorporated European Soccer Entertainment Corporation.’ Or just GFACMEUAIESEC for short. (ish). Read more Glazers & Manchester United: A Proper Free Market Corporation at Last

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Harry Redknapp’s Resounding Victory over Twitter Trolls

Former rugby legend Bucky Guinstella has begun his long march out of the sporting wilderness, and has embarked upon a new literary career as a Twitter troll.

However, the joke seems to be on him, and he is not having much success.

Maybe he’s just an unrecognised genius?

Well, time will tell. Read more Harry Redknapp’s Resounding Victory over Twitter Trolls

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