Categorized | Sports Scandals, Sportsfolk

Cutesy Football / Soccer Manager Roy Hodgson Stands Up for Kim Jong Un

Cutesy Football / Soccer Manager Roy Hodgson Stands Up for Kim Jong Un

Alex Ferguson and Kim Jong Un.

One is a vicious dictator from the frozen wastes up North who is utterly brutal to friend and foe alike.

The other…

Oh wait sorry, it’s Roy today isn’t it?!

Never mind.

Cutesy football treasure Roy Hodgson is know for his cuddly and genial demeanour.

And he’s always the first to put a gentle and loving word in for his boys; especially when they are unfairly maligned by the cruel mainstream media, and any unduly harsh global spectators.

And this time, he’s come out to defend his protégé Kim Jong Un of North Korea.

Well, well, to be fair, to be fair, I mean, the boy done alright!

I mean, the media, you know, in this game, you have to be tough enough to take the pressure.

The media were a bit hard on the lad, but y’know: fair play to my boy, he just takes it on the chin, and goes on ahead, and does whatever he’s supposed to do.

Now that takes real courage. Sometimes, in this situation, it seems as if the whole world’s against you, like everyone’s being harsh and hostile; and they just refuse, point-blank, to give you the time of day!

I thought the media were a bit harsh on the lad, personally; he may be young and a bit hot-headed, but my boys do need that little bit of freedom to make mistakes. But mark my words: sooner or later, this lad will be a world champion; you’d have to be a pretty brave gambler to underestimate our Kim lad!

But look, no matter what kind of heckling you get, you have to have broad shoulders enough to deal with the pressure. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you or your opponents say; because y’know how it is, we can all trade banter til the cows come home.

But what really matters, at the end of the day, is that you’re out there to win, and that you don’t worry nothing about the consequences.

I mean yeah, the physical side can still get a bit much for some people. But our Kim is a bruiser, and no matter what they throw at him, you can guarantee he’ll rise above it, and he will flatten his enemies like ten tons of you-know-what!

There are a lot of people out there are quite impatient, you know, and say the boy is dilly-dallying, and doesn’t have any real passion to finish the job.

All I can say is, when we finally get to the final whistle, and everything’s finally over, you definitely want to be the last man standing.

And I’m sure I can speak for everyone, when I say our Kim is looking forward to that day; and so are we!


Image attribution:

By Mikhail, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link


This post was written by

- who has written 588 posts on

Sub-editor of Glossy News. Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! You can buy my satire and poetry ebooks from many online stores, including Amazon. Make sure you like the Glossy News and Wallace Runnymede pages on Facebook!


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