Category: Sports Scandals
Meet the U.S. World Cup Team’s New METHOD Acting Coach
His Beating Iran Plan to Escape Group B After missing the entire party four years ago, the U.S. Football team [USMNT] faces a win-or-go-home match with Iran in its concluding World Cup Group B game Tuesday against Iran. Remember them?…
No Hate, No Fear! The Heartwarming Story of One Courageous Athlete Sex Offender who Rose Above the Stigma!
LAKEWOOD—A Lakewood High School multi-sport star athlete is facing charges of sexual assault following an incident alleged to have occurred in October, 2018. Joshua “Dusty” Delroy appeared in court for his indictment surrounded by family and members of the three…
Utah Jazz Lose Half Their Team: New ‘Magic Underpants’ Rule Remains a Sore Point!
Formerly even less non-renowned basketball team Utah Jazz have recently lost their mojo, with their fanatical new Mormon Fundamentalist leader, Pickney H. Jonestonne, alienating droves of players with his unusual dress code. Although Utah Jazz players under previous managerial regimes…
Redskins Owner Won’t Rule Out Signing Kareem Hunt
Washington, DC- On Monday, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder refused to rule out signing former Kansas City Chiefs Running back, Kareem Hunt, after he was released by his team on Friday. Hunt was a standout star for the AFC leading…
World’s First Leper Ice Hockey Tournament Breaks Off in Disarray
Yesterday’s first hockey tournament final for the leper community was a complete disaster! The first ten minutes saw a number of unexpected face-offs; and by the time they got to half-way, it was already too difficult to pick up the…
Can Fish & Man Live in Peace?! George Bush Caught Up in Appalling Swimming Costume Drama…
In a comical oversight, Ex-President of the United States George Bush forgot to take his swimming costume with him at Washington’s renowned Sports & Leisure Village.
Cutesy Football / Soccer Manager Roy Hodgson Stands Up for Kim Jong Un
Alex Ferguson and Kim Jong Un. One is a vicious dictator from the frozen wastes up North who is utterly brutal to friend and foe alike. The other… Oh wait sorry, it’s Roy today isn’t it?!
Football CRAZY! Wacko England Victory Denialist Challenges Mainstream Views on World Cup ’66
Robust writer and charismatic rhetorician David Irving has just published some astonishing revisionist historical allegations.
Crazy Cannibal Hannibal Lecter Disgusted He Can’t ‘Take a Knee’ at NFL Matches
Notorious violent extremist and culinary-diverse social mayhem warrior Hannibal Lecter is “disgusted” and “repulsed” at being forbidden to take a knee from NFL players. I’ve lived in this country so long, I’ve contributed all I have. I’ve never just decided…
Delaware Man Masters Martial Arts, Using Only Initial Free Lessons
Dateline: NEW JERSEY—A man from Delaware earned the equivalent of a black belt in Taekwondo, Karate, Jiu-jitsu and several other martial arts, by exploiting the free trial first lesson offered by hundreds of martial arts schools across North America.