Category: Science & Technologizzy
Nano-Chip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language
The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons’ offices quicker than you can say “Se Habla Espanol?” No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third…
Communicate with Ghosts? There’s an App for That
Raleigh NC – GlossyNews.com – For unemployed twentysomething Reginald J Wainsborough the good news was that when his Uncle Harley died a month ago he left Reginald a diamond brooch worth $1 million. The bad news was that Uncle Harley’s…
Dung Becomes Newest Clean Energy
Fibrominn, LLC in Benson, Minnesota has the distinction of being the first U.S. power plant fired by turkey droppings in an effort wean the U.S. from fossil fuel to fecal fuel. And the turkeys couldn’t be happier. The plant burns…
Painting of Big Mac Found in Neanderthal Cave
Saint Sozy, France – GlossyNews.com French paleontologists have discovered a Neanderthal cave painting said to represent hands eagerly reaching for a Big Mac, or at least proto-Big Mac, according to the journal, Ancient Discoveries. According to Jean-Claude Bouisquet, curator of…
BP Offers Disaster Response Expertise to Failing Nuke Reactor
Media release: Monaco, 0800hrs, Energy giant BP, (formerly British Petroleum) has announced an offer of support to the Japanese government overnight, pledging to fully rebuild the nation’s damaged nuclear reactors on undisclosed but “very favorable” terms.
Japan Quake Silver Lining: Whaling Fleet Decimated
As sure as every crowd has a pilfer lining, every crowd has one of silver. While the quake off the northeast coast of Japan has already racked up a death toll in the thousands, there may still be some good…
NASA Claims Solar Flare Mistaken for Distress Signal
A visibly distraught NASA Director Sharon Love spoke to reporters this week about what she called ‘that stupid thing with space aliens.’ “Look, I seriously don’t have time for this. My assignment is outreach to the Muslim world, period. When…
The Role of Facebook and Twitter in History’s Revolutions
There’s been a lot of debate recently over the role social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter played in the recent Egyptian uprising, however very little has been mentioned of their importance in history’s other great revolutions. This report chronicles…
Computer Beats Kids at Candy Land… Holy Terrorbytes, Batman
IBM is at it again, but this time their target for domination isn’t aimed at nerdy trivia buffs or intimidating chess masters. No, its electronic jaws are now chomping at the bit to take a megabyte out of sweet innocent…
Strong Solar Flare Activity May Cause Rare Moonburn Events across Globe
A space scientist at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has issued a warning in association with the current solar flare activity on the sun’s surface. Edmund P. Rank, a scientist at NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory claims that within…