Nano-Chip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language

The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons’ offices quicker than you can say “Se Habla Espanol?” No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third language to go through the arduous process of weeks and weeks of studying tapes or attending language classes. The product is called “Nano-Second Language” or NSL, and they are expected to sell out within weeks.

NEWS: Useful Human Implants ACTUALLY EXIST!

The makers of the NSL brain implant first developed the product under a grant by the United States Department of Defense as a solution to the problem servicemen and women were having when being shipped overseas to the Middle East. “No one spoke Arabic which led to some serious misunderstandings between our military and that of the country our servicemen were stationed in,” says Dr. Lewis Lipps, chief engineer on the NSL project. “The NSL Arabic version will immediately resolve that issue and allow certain soldiers to communicate in countries such as Iraq, Afghanistan, even Libya with little to no problem,” said Lipps.

Asked how the nano-chip brain implant works, Lipps explained, “The NSL Arabic version, for instance, has a complete Arabic alphabet and dictionary with over 20,000 common words which are electronically translatable from English literally within nanoseconds. In a simple outpatient procedure, the NSL chip is implanted into the corpus callosum portion of the left side, or the language center, of the brain and activated.”

Dr. Lipps then showed illustrations of the procedure which is done through arthroscopic surgery. “As soon as a soldier thinks out the phrase he wants to say,” he continued, “he pushes a button that is also implanted discretely underneath the skin on the soldier’s upper left side of the head.” Dr. Lipps explained that when the soldier goes to speak, it appears he is tapping his head as if he is thinking of what to say, and voila, his words come out of his mouth in the language he has implanted. In this case, Arabic.

Initial test results indicate a 97.6% success rate on the battlefield and the nano-chip is already being used by many servicemen and women today. Now that the product has been tested and proven to be efficient in Arabic, a Mandarin Chinese model is being tested on businessmen from various industries who find it necessary to communicate in Chinese with their business counterparts in China. The NSL Chinese version should be available to the business world within two to three months.


17 comments on “Nano-Chip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language

  1. Sign me up for this improvement today. Although, it might be nice if the DOD added some additional combat knowledge to the chip that would better enable military personnel to break things and kill the enemy. Just do not add Wifi to it as a precaution again Beijing and Washington DC.

  2. My native language is Farsi (persian). I live in the U.S. How can I have and use an English Nano-chip? Please let me know because I have big problem about English language.

    • Watch more American movies..seriously that’s how my fiance learned english..and now she uses the word fuck all the

  3. that would be great if it is true
    would you be able to have more that one foreingn Language and would you be able to to write and read ?
    where can someone participate



  4. I would only use them if I knew they couldn't invade my privacy or be used to track me etc..

    But I love this idea, learning a language sucks especially when you don't have a talent for it.

  5. You may also be interested to know my research reveals the first American interrogated by brainchip was claimed by JOHN GREGORY LAMBROS in 1994.

    Solaris BlueRaven claimed to be electronically assaulted in her mind starting 2004 (She doesn’t seem to know that her enemy (The Mystery School Cult [exposed by William Cooper]) took interest in her claimed psychic abilities and wanted to explore her mind with their interface. I tried to tell her she was actually brainchipped for her to experience instant mind-feedback and reverb mind-jigging. Synthetic telepathy are speaking her thought to herself, this is called anti-psychic Russian methodology, but is used more as occult torture for her, it is meant to make one illogical in decision-making.)

    Magnus Olsson was covertly implanted (scanned by Icaact) in 2005 and myself in brainchipped in 2007 and Bio-robotic-chipped in 2008 for resisting the first chip so much.

    This article’s translator chip does not really need a button, I think the button is phony to trick the user into imagining control over the chip where there is none, but there is no switch nor firewall.

  6. All you really need is one of those worm thingy’s from the book or movie Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy that you stick in your ear and it translates every language in the known universe for you. It works for me!

  7. Looks like this satire site changed the photo since my last visit, but text looks the same.
    I recently found Jeff Rense had an accident/hit job in 2015. Shows all the signs of a zombie-brainchip attempted murder by the handlers hiding away at central command. Rense was driving normal, brainchip instantly took his consciousness away, then gave consciousness back for an instant while flying through the air. Then, he was awoken by the chip just before an emergency brain surgury. The “voice of god” attack ensued where the handler “hetero-dyned” (See Dr. Rob Duncan) some speech out of his mouth. It could have been any language but… in english it said not to do the opperation. Likely, central command at the other end of the cell-tower control-grid wanted him to die from the hemorage instead. (Considerate monsters, those handlers are.) (see Jeff Rense accident on

    Another “voice of god” attack was on July29th 2008 when Vincent Li was turned into a robot zombie for the purpose to murder Tim McLean and likely bring in luggage inspection and body searches onto the ground mass transport. I gather that Li was unconscious while central command used his robotic body (binary biological was exposed by Deborah Travares with the NASA document in 2013… in an interview she said wireless brainchips were used back in the 1980s, which doesn’t surprise me much)

    You see, cell phones were made popular to finance the prison-cell-grid… haa, haa for the brainchip anhialation of humanity into brainchip zombies…
    And you thought they were for cellular phones… what does “cellular” mean anyway,, haaa!

    But don’t worry, you are a spiritual being made physical, not the other way around. You are supposed to figure this out, so get working at it! Read some Seth by Jane Roberts

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