Archive | Gadgets & Gizmos

Robo-Rat: the Future of Service-Free Pets

Robo-Rat: the Future of Service-Free Pets

Worried about getting your youngsters a pet for Christmas – a cuddly kitten or puppy –then face the moral conscience dilemma of having to go and dump it up the arse end of the wilderness a few weeks later – to keep the legion of other evicted pets company – when the kids get tired of playing with it.

No problems anymore – technology has come to the rescue. The UK toy store shelves are chocker full of the latest and greatest in cuddly robotic pet innovations – Go-Go Pets – the “must-have” present for Christmas 2009. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare

Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare

The long wait is finally over for video game aficionados and those chronically addicted and desperate to get their hands on a copy of Call of Duty : Modern Warfare Mk 2 – the festive season’s latest release for a Christmas Day surprise – Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all Men (apart from those nasty unwashed Muslim Jolly Jihadi scumbags and any other f*cker and their dog who we’ve decided to indiscriminately label enemies). Continue Reading

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Air Phone Becomes Big Concern Of Cell Phone Suppliers

Air Phone Becomes Big Concern Of Cell Phone Suppliers

Washington, DC – The “Air phone look” is a person’s left or right arm crooked with the hand touching the ear and lips simultaneously with the thumb and little finger extended, 3 other fingers folded under the palm.

Everyone’s doing it whether it’s on TV or in the movies; on buses or trains; even through plate glass windows — and always with the mouthed “call me” attached. AT&T, Comcast, Verizon and Sprint are foaming at the mouth over this blatant quasi phone usage without paying for it. Continue Reading

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Google to Nationally Publish News Free

Google to Nationally Publish News Free

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — In a publishing quadruple-whammo punch, Google today announced that it effectively had taken control of the major news corporations in the US not owned by either The New York Times or Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. — but including Tribune Co. and Sun-Times Media, Chicago; McClatchy, Seattle; Gannett in Maryland, Delaware, and Eastern Viriginia; to name a few. Over 35 companies in all sold their stock to the Google Cash Machine. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos2 Comments

Egypt to Ban Lab-Fabricated Hymens

Egypt to Ban Lab-Fabricated Hymens

A leading Egyptian Islamic scholar has demanded (based on his own barbaric vigilante authority) that people caught importing a female virginity-faking device into the basket case country should be arrested by the Mutaween religious police, summarily tried under Sharia law and face the death penalty if convicted. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos4 Comments

Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages

Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages

Under the latest stupid EU ruling the manufacture and import of 100 watt incandescent light bulbs in Britain will be banned in favour of the CFL energy-saving variety – by which you can’t see to read – or write – brush your hair, wipe your arse, tie your shoe laces or shave without cutting your own throat. Continue Reading

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Posted in Environment, Gadgets & Gizmos0 Comments

Study: Cellphones Hard-Boil Brains

Study: Cellphones Hard-Boil Brains

A 2008 joint survey undertaken by the Department of Odd Behaviour in conjunction with the Ministry for Falling Over, concluded that the use of a mobile phone definitely has an adverse effect on brain activity, although it conceded there were “significant gaps in our scientific knowledge” – which in layman’s terms equated to the fact they didn’t have an effing clue precisely how much microwave radiation was actually required to cook your brain to a soft-boiled state – or kick-start the growth of a super-metastasizing malignant tumour – but – wait for it – did conclude beyond a reasonable doubt that ‘any’ amount of microwave radiation is ‘not’ good for you. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

iPhone Explodes in Ossetia – Millions Feared Dead

iPhone Explodes in Ossetia – Millions Feared Dead

French consumer groups are investigating a disturbing bout of recent reports concerning iPhone 3GS models that have exploded or burst into flames spontaneously. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, War Zone0 Comments

Maccessories Introduces the iPenis

Maccessories Introduces the iPenis

Apple/Macintosh, long the personal computer choice of lesbians, has unveiled their long-anticipated iPenis, the USB dildo built for interactive dyke e-erotica games and programs that can only run on the power of a Mac. Continue Reading

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Cingular Busted on “Unlimited Mobile to Mobile, AL” Plan

Cingular Busted on “Unlimited Mobile to Mobile, AL” Plan

Since their merger/buyout of the non-company AT&T Wireless, Cingular has improved it’s reputation from the “largest corner of no signal whatsoever” to that of a true player in the era of modern wireless communication. Their biggest push has been the claim of the largest free mobile-to-Mobile calling area, but with bills now rolling in, subscribers only now understand that this only refers to calls to Mobile, Alabama. Continue Reading

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos, Technology0 Comments

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