Category: Gadgets & Gizmos
iPhone 5 Replaces All of Your Personal Relationships
SAN FRANCISCO- In a groundbreaking statement issued to press, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the new iPhone will “replace all of your loved ones and cherished relationships.” The phone and features were announced earlier this week, already prompting some…
The iPhone 6
Consumer research has found that people are already anticipating the arrival of the iPhone 6. It would seem that customers cannot wait to buy the iPhone 6 and have been putting off their upgrade to the iPhone 5, which was…
Apple Announces New Rainbow-Crapping Unicorn
Cupertino, CA – Apple Inc. today announced the next generation of their rainbow-crapping unicorn, the “Rainbow-Crapping Unicorn 5.” The name surprised the entire unicorn-blogging world after wide speculation that the latest Rainbow-Crapping Unicorn would be called the Rainbow-Crapping Unicorn 6…
Microsoft to Build With 360s
At a surprise press conference yesterday, Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft Corporation, announced that the monopolistic software company, infamous for its various Windows operating systems, is erecting a new building at its headquarters in Redmond, Washington State. That was not…
$35 Dollar Computer? Why Not, & It’s Gaining Momentum
It’s been an extremely slow month for news with nothing interesting going on. I’ve heard things about a big sporting event taking place in London, an upcoming Presidential election, talks of some new third-world countries developing nuclear weapons, groups of…
StrangleCorp to Bid on Navy Rail Gun Project
StrangleCorp has announced its intention to bid on the Navy’s Electromagnetic Railgun Project after the current testing cycle is complete. “We’ve been watching BAE System’s and General Atomics’ progress through the prototype stage very closely and we’re pretty confident that…
Train Obliterates Texting Driver; Darwin Unsurprised
Paranormal investigators have recently reported unprecedented EMF activity, with some saying it’s like Stephen King got struck by lightning. Those off the dial readings are attributed to a curious event in the life of Theresa Caputo, star of TLC’s “Long…
Dang It, Google Drive, Be Rational
Google Drive is the latest entry in the cloud backup and storage game. They offer mad amounts of storage at unbelievably reasonable prices, but they still fairly suck as bad as any of their competitors, and we just have to…
Apple Prototype Left in Bar
Tech sector analysts say Apple has already experienced some roller coaster PR rides, and the year is just beginning. Apple stock surged last week on news of the I-Mback, a device that lets deceased people return as fully interactive holograms….
Sony Blames Harold Camping for Prolonged PSN Outage
The weeks of the Playstation Network being down was frustrating for many gamers. What was even more frustrating was the constant reassurance that the network would be back up soon, with that date being pushed farther and farther back. Many…