Categorized | Gadgets & Gizmos

Microsoft to Build With 360s

Microsoft to Build With 360s

At a surprise press conference yesterday, Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft Corporation, announced that the monopolistic software company, infamous for its various Windows operating systems, is erecting a new building at its headquarters in Redmond, Washington State.

That was not the most remarkable part of yesterday evening’s statement, however.

“We’re going to use Xbox 360s that were unfairly blocked from Xbox Live or deactivated entirely by our updates to their firmware as part of the construction,” Ballmer explained.

RIGHT: Construction has already begun. (CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTO)

“After all, we turned them into bricks, so we might as well use them as such. Now, I know that companies such as Sony simply refurbish the consoles they brick, but we’re simply too busy to do the same – what with forcing owners of laptops and desktops to buy tablets by making Windows 8 not function desirably on traditional platforms, as well as carrying on with our attempts to build a website that our customers, coerced or otherwise, find useful.

“Hey, at least we’re trying to do something worthwhile with some of the poorly built junk we’ve created rather than hurting Mother Earth with it by simply having it land-filled.”

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This post was written by

- who has written 24 posts on GlossyNews.com.

As an Autie with a very warped imagination (IOO) and an extremely wicked sense of humour (IMO), I make quite a good satirist (also IMO), especially when writing songs about fanfiction, the Internet, or Disney.

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3 Responses to “Microsoft to Build With 360s”

  1. Brian K. White says:

    My XBOX-360 has the red ring of death, so I’m not super amused by this story. With all the dead xboxs you could easily build a whole city.

  2. Ray says:

    As an owner of a bricked xbox-360, I can say that Microsoft sucks flacid donkey weiners.

  3. Sheogorath says:

    Well, I’m sorry for your pain, Brian. But hey, maybe this story can help others avoid feeling the same. On another note, allow me to announce the official satirical name of Micro$##t’s next OS, Winblows H8.

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