Dang It, Google Drive, Be Rational

Google Drive is the latest entry in the cloud backup and storage game. They offer mad amounts of storage at unbelievably reasonable prices, but they still fairly suck as bad as any of their competitors, and we just have to ask them; why?

On my test system, and I’m running Windows 7, the app takes up 68-94% of my CPU. Surely you updated everything I’m hoping to store a good week or two ago, and even if there are still files to be saved, why would you thusly hog my system resources so dickish-egregiously. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Even Microsoft applications have learned enough to let users view the ongoing status. I can’t tell if it’s still running properly, uploading, updating, or just plain crashed. Is my system half-way updated? Is it running a few files a minute, a few minutes a file, or just not doing a darn thing?

Who can tell? Certainly the answer to this simple equation is not “me”, as I’m entirely left out of the loop.

I’m looking to blank my laptop and reset it to factory settings, but before I do that, I have to backup all my data. Since I’ve paid for 100gb/month, I should be well clear at this point, but I’m not… and why? Because my Google Drive folder says it’s still updating, even though I can’t tell how, or if it’s even doing anything.

So don’t worry about me, Google Drive, worry about everybody. Worry about the world.

We want to know what files are being moved. We want to know what’s going on. We want to see that what we’re doing — what we’ve paid for — is actually happening.

And if you’re asking for a referral, I can only say this… I still recommend Google Drive, even though it has short-comings… Come on man, it’s still miles ahead of the competition.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.