Apple Prototype Left in Bar

Tech sector analysts say Apple has already experienced some roller coaster PR rides, and the year is just beginning.

Apple stock surged last week on news of the I-Mback, a device that lets deceased people return as fully interactive holograms. Apple founder Steve Jobs was the first to be imprinted in the I-Mback, and he encouraged investors from the grave to “get on board, unless you’re retarded or something.”

The sharp gain for Apple stock was followed by even higher gains as news came the company has signed an exclusive contract with the Funeral Directors Association. The FDA believes the I-Mback will be a value adder for its line of caskets, urns and other ‘last needs’ accessories.

Of course, Apple stock has tumbled since then on embarrassing reports the I-Mback prototype containing virtual Steve Jobs was inadvertently left behind at a Long Beach strip club, the Pussycat Lounge.

Apple developer Etta Place was quick to distance the company from the incident. “This person who left virtual Steve at the strip club, he was not an Apple employee, but an independent contractor.” Ms. Place went on to assure reporters, in the fast paced, freewheeling world of new ideas, sometimes devices get misplaced.

Aside from the embarrassment to a company famous for secrecy, the incident has had ramifications at the Pussycat Lounge, and surrounding businesses.

Pussycat Lounge owner Calvin Klaven said, “That virtual Steve is real smart. Carwash on the corner, he got them to give my customers discount carwash and ride home if they drank too much. Then, and this is freaking amazing here. Virtual Steve ran the billing totally through the carwash, for our customers who are squeamish about patronizing the whaddya call it, erotic entertainment venues? So now a lap dance looks like a really expensive car wash on the credit card bill. Can you beat that? We were about to go out of business, and so was the car wash too. Now we’re both looking at franchising, thanks to hologram Steve!”

Reached for comment virtual Steve said, “I’m not surprised that strip club was about to go out of business. What a bunch of pathetic boobs!”

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

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