“Who’s Your Daddy?” and More Security Verification Questions: Choices with a Contemporary Edge for 2023 Users

Updated Security Verification Questions

[Renouncing “favorite pet, first child, or mother’s maiden name” prompts from staid institutions, these prompts will take you beyond outdated dropdown menu questions from which you personally had to choose to answer to secure online accounts]

  1. Who’s Your Daddy?
  2. Who do wish your Daddy was?
  3. Who do you wish your Mommy was?
  4. Who do you wish your “kissing cousin” was?
  5. Who, besides you, had most to do with your biggest life failure?
  6. What name do you associate with your biggest secret?
  7. Who beat your favorite team in its most galling loss ever?
  8. Who’s the most exciting person you’ve met that didn’t have the time of day for you?
  9. Which singer is so ugly he/she should always be a masked singer?
  10. What’s the worst birthday, holiday, or special occasion gift you ever received?
  11. Which relative, friend, colleague, or acquaintance gave that worst present to you?
  12. Which relative, friend, colleague, or acquaintance is fat enough to play Santa?
  13. With whom did you first get to second base?
  14. With whom did you first get to third base?
  15. With whom did you first get all the way home (hit a home run)?
  16. What’s your favorite online betting service?
  17. Which teams played in the “bad beat” gambling loss that stung the worst?
  18. What’s the worst name you could give or could have given a child of yours?
  19. What’s the most sleep-inducing sport someone you know loves and watches?
  20. Who was your meanest elementary school teacher?
  21. Who’s your favorite porn star, male or female?
  22. Name the first person with whom you cheated while ostensibly committed to your ex?
  23. What family or neighborhood pet did you love to terrorize?
  24. What brother, sister, or other relative was your favorite to terrorize?
  25. What was the most unflattering or upsetting nickname people called you?
  26. Which relative, friend, colleague, or acquaintance looks worst for her/his age?
  27. Who was your worst high school or junior high school teacher?
  28. Which relative, friend, colleague, or acquaintance would you most like to see naked?
  29. If seen naked, which relative, friend, colleague, or acquaintance would spark nightmares?
  30. Where is the strangest place you’ve pooped or peed?
  31. Who’s the most polarizing person alive today?
  32. In which state would you most hate to live?
  33. What product has the most obnoxious TV commercials?
  34. Whose voice sends shudders down your spine as soon upon hearing it?
  35. What liquor or cocktail selection caused your last hangover or barfing session?
  36. What assigned school reading proved the most sleep-inducing ever?
  37. What was the worst movie you ever watched in its entirety?
  38. If you could have any superpower, who would you use it to thwart?
  39. What’s the ugliest place you’ve ever visited?
  40. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever worn?
  41. What song most makes you cringe whenever you hear it?
  42. What hobby, activity, or avocation do you most regret wasting time pursuing?
  43. What tech device, program, or app has brought the most negative things to your life?
  44. What’s the most annoying thing the most significant person in your life does?
  45. What body part, organ, or appendage would you most like to redo?
  46. What’s the stupidest investment you ever made?
  47. What’s the most significant thing you were better at as a teenager than you are now?
  48. What’s your worst habit?
  49. Where are the old questions?
  50. Where’s Waldo?

Author: Ken Hogarty

Dr. Ken Hogarty, who lives in SF’s East Bay with his wife Sally, retired after a 46-year career as a high teacher and principal. Since, he has had stories, essays and comedy pieces published in Underwood, Sport Literate, Sequoia Speaks, Woman’s Way, Purpled Nails, Cobalt, the S.F. Chronicle, Points in Case, Glossy News, The Satirist, and Good Old Days. PO Box 84, Canyon, CA. 94516 Kenhogarty@gmail.com

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