Category: Making Headlines
Nation of Self-Obsessed Attention Hogs Whine About Sea Levels Rising Due to Climate Change
FUNAFUTI, TUVALU– After years of whining and moaning about possible ecological devastation and flooding which would render their entire country uninhabitable, little Tuvalu finally got its moment in the sun when the international press threw the petulant brats a handful…
New York Hospital to Begin Clinical Trial for ‘Impossible Whopper’ Prescriptions to Combat COVID-19
NEW YORK, NY – Scientists and medical professionals have found something very interesting in the rates of survivability between men and women in regard to the COVID-19 pandemic. On average, more women are recovering from the virus than men. Scientists…
Stalker turns a woman’s hair into a diamond engagement ring
A woman meets her stalker face to face for the first time and he proposes with a diamond made from her hair. Shockingly, she said “Yes!” Two years later, they are still together with a baby on the way. Melvin…
Trump Names Jared and Ivanka Ventilator Co-Czars
Washington, DC (AP) At yesterday’s White House press briefing President Trump made the stunning announcement that his daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner, by Executive Order # 1001, will assume the newly created positions of Ventilator co-Czars. The action…
We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News
Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…
Thousands of Middle Class Americans Storm Mexican Border Seeking Better Life.
A major melee occurred today on the American/Mexican border as thousands of middle class Americans stormed the fences and barricades separating them from Central American soil. Overwhelmed and surprised Mexican border guards at first tried to halt the massive human…
Just In Time For Halloween! – A Tour Of The Saudi Consulate In Istanbul (aka ‘Middle-Eastern Torture Chamber’)
Here we go boys and girls! A fun and horror filled tour awaits at the notorious Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul, now infamous for the mysterious disappearance of Saudi dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi last week. Mr. Khashoggi entered there to…
God Condemns Conservative Bullies for Opining on Comedy
Dateline: D.C.—Conservatives condemned Michelle Wolf’s comedic speech at the 2018 White House Press correspondents’ dinner, until God reminded them they have no sense of humour because they’re bullies.
The Drone Report – We Listen In On The NRA Making Their Most Recent Battle Plans.
Prelude- Freed Industrial, a sub-section of the vast Rfreed communications network, has just developed a special ‘spy drone’ capable of infiltrating anywhere and everywhere and recording visual and audio data for our columns.
Offering “Thoughts And Prayers” To Shooting Victims Just Don’t Fly No More. Here’s Why-
The long overused but handy expression used by countless soulless politicians and supposed sympathizers, when trying to gloss over a tragedy so that they could get back to their money making and power grabbing duties, has finally run its course.