Bojo BOMBS with Wurzels Parody! Click Here to See What He Sang!

Tories

After Stormzy’s epic ‘fuck Boris’ musical chairs rant, and a rather ineffective response by the Great Man of History himself, the Master of the Universe is finally back on fine form! Over the course of his world propaganda tour of deepest, palest Somerset, and treating himself to a congenially Farageist barrel of working class hero Scrumpy, Sir Spaffalot regaled the twee, cutesy West country yokels with the following stirring patriotic ode, before being carried off, Bullingdon-stylee, in a luxury wicker sedan, carried by a dozen £3 an hour Burmese coolies with watermelon smiles…

I dragged my nostrils over a mirror last night
(You know I’m right)
I’m on the media cos I’m well full of shite
(You know I’m right)
Now somethin’s tellin’ me, half the country’s hatin’ me
So come on now plebby sweetheart, cos you got somethin’ that I need

Love and peace

I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me
We all love coke and banging pigs, in perfect harmony
Oh I got twenty shell cartels, and my mistress got 93!
Now I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me

She made me jizz, haha

I’ll stick my bellend in a dead piggy’s skull
(I’m full of shite)
We’ll make your kids and parents well miserable
(I’m full of shite)
You know we love roast pheasant and champagne, so give me all your votes
But the thing I want the most is about 69 billion tons o’coke!

Tequila

I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me
We all love coke and banging pigs, in perfect harmony
Oh I got twenty shell cartels, and my mistress got 93!
Now I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me

Phwoar, that’s a lovely bit of rump ‘n’ all

For seven long years I’ll be ruling this place
(You know that shite)
All them dead pigs in my harem, it’s a proper disgrace
(You know that shite)
Now if I sniffed this up my nostrils, darlin would we change our mind
(You know that shite)
I’ll give up writing fake news and rule you til the end o’ time

I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me
We all love coke and banging pigs, in perfect harmony
Oh I got twenty shell cartels, and my mistress got 93!
Now I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me

Who rules ya baby? HA!

Now ain’t we a grand couple with our voting romance
Wore a thousand sterling tux while you can’t afford underpants
Now I hope you get undressed because I’m a man of charm and wealth
The whole of England loves me cos Westminster’s full o’ sycophants!

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me
We all love coke and banging pigs, in perfect harmony
Oh I got twenty shell cartels, and my mistress got 93!
Now I’ve got some Tory Cayman yacht wankers and you should vote for me

Arrr, you’re a fine lookin’ plebber and I can’t wait to get me hands on your country!

Business leader

If that wasn’t enough to finish you off, try our tremendous Bojo quote quiz!

Image: By UK Prime Minister – https://twitter.com/10DowningStreet/status/1161345162028756994, OGL 3, Link

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Author: Wallace Runnymede

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