Bojo: A Kinks-Flavoured Song Tribute to Britain’s New Reptilian Emperor!

Apologies to the Kinks, but probably not to the Pig N Coke Club…

Well I met him in a club down in old Soho
Where they drink champagne and it tastes just like
Spaffy Bojo

O spaffy old Bojo!
He walked up to me and with a foppish prance
I asked him his name and in an affected Eton purr he said, Bojo!
O Spaffy old Bojo!

Well, I’m not the world’s most elegant wank
But when he squeezed my wallet he nearly broke my back
Oh my Bojo, O spaffy old Bojo!

Well, I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why he talks like a crackhead yet he’s so shit in bed
Oh my Bojo, O spaffy old Bojo!

Well, we drank champagne and fucked some pigs
Just like Dave in his old Brasenose digs
He was charming like a real VIP
He said,
Little boy, won’t you come home with me?

Well, I’m not the world’s most passionate fop
But when I looked in his eyes
Well, I almost fell for my Bojo
O spaffy old Bojo! O spaffy old Bojo!

Bojo. Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh Bojo

Don’t push me away
I’m a corporate whore!
And yet I ran for my life
I couldn’t take any more
Don’t bring us down, to our knees

Then I looked at him, and him at me
Shit-poor? That’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way cos I’m Bojo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh Bojo

Boris will rich and plebs will be poor
It’s a shit-poor, fucked up chaotic world
Except for Bojo
O Spaffy old Bojo

Well, Bojo left nanny just a week before
But he’s already found his wings as a corporate whore
Bojo smiled and took me by the hand
He said,
Little boy, I’m a very rich man

Well, I’m not the world’s most masculine man
But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m not a fop
Just like Bojo

Like spaffy old Bojo! Like spaffy old Bojo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh Bojo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh
Bojo Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh Bojo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh Bojo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh Bojo
Buh-buh-buh-buh-but-buh BOJO!!!!!

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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