An Ode To Bon Jovi and His Song About Corona

I am so glad there is this pandemic, it stops your rock and roll gimmick.

So you have to give up the musical schlock that you try to mimic.

Thank God for the huge lock-down, it shuts all your amplifiers down
saving us from your hellish sound; now quiet can finally be found.

No longer do I need earplugs inserted to keep out your music perverted.

peace abounds now that your talents are diverted.

My hearing is returning to normal, now freed from your auditory turmoil.
to which my nerves recoil and brings my blood pressure to boil

The quarantine is a mixed blessing I am now freely confessing

it keeps you at home, no longer free to roam.

Now you must stay put on your a–es

instead of blasting your tunes to the masses.

The good thing about COVID 19, it keeps you from impregnating more teens

who dance to your seductive songs while taking hits on their inflated bongs

and saves taxpayers from paying extortion’s

caused by their many abortions.

Maybe a little home confinement will bring about a little personal refinement
and songs with a more spiritual slant rather than just a working class rant.

So while locked-down you can work on your imperfections,
as well as your many transgressions.
Just ask me; I’ll make some suggestions.

Yours truly, __________ (the Mystery Writer)

When questioned about this particular author’s venomous hatred of him and his band and why he dislikes him so much Bon Jovi shrugged and said “I don’t know why this guy has it so out for me. Maybe I dated his sister once, or something.”

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at

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