Author: Liberties-Taken
Kennedy Ctr Pre-Humously Honor Hugh “Playboy Bunny” Hefner
Famed soft core porn peddler Hugh Hefner will be among the Lifetime Achievement Award winners at 2011 Kennedy Center ceremonies. The announcement immediately stirred controversy, since it marks the first time the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts has honored…
Study Proves Marble Tile is Very Heavy
When you’re married, there will be times (usually during 4th quarter of a tied game)that a woman says, “Something something something would brighten up the room, don’t you think?” Wait until the game is over, and then go out to…
Jehovah’s Witness Probe Widens, Officials Going Door-to-Door
Tallahatchie County DA Kirk Shatner gazes into the distance when pressed on his crusade against the Jehovah Witness organization. “Oh yeah, I know what some people say. That I’m picking on an unpopular minority in blatant appeal to the fundamental…
Jimmy Hoffa Found Inside Noah’s Ark
MOUNT ARARAT, Turkey (GlossyNews) — Amazing discoveries continue from a Hong Kong based group of evangelical archeologists. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) was once little known in the Archaeological community, let alone the…
Cuba Sees Future in Tourism
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Beleaguered, nearly forgotten Cuba has announced another wave of economic reforms. Under the new guidelines, citizens can operate small businesses, hire employees, and rent property for American currency. Analysts attribute…
Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap
MOUNT ARARAT, Turkey (GlossyNews) — In the close-knit evangelical archeological community, few can recall more dizzying heights and tragic lows in such a short time span. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed…
Acid Hoax Pays-Off w/ Major TV Contract, Minor Disfigurement
A beaming yet horribly disfigured Bethany Storros met with reporters today to announce her place on the 2011 Showtime fall schedule. The Vancouver native, savoring the notoriety generated by her self-mutilation and false claims of a racially motivated attack, was…
High School Senior 2 Gay 2 B Remembered
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Sex is a private matter, except for performance artists employed in the adult entertainment sector, who are generally really nice people. Except for Diane; she was a real bitch. Oh,…
Folk Singer Succumbs to Irrelevance
Song stylist and political activist Adam Cohen has died, sources close to the family told Glossy News today. Cohen passed peacefully at his Greenwich Village apartment, after a long battle with colorectal cancer and raging irrelevance. Cohen is best known…
Steinbrenner Options Satan for Minor Mephistopheles to be Named Later
HELL (GlossyNews) — Word comes via famed psychic John Edwards, that legendary sports icon George Steinbrenner has not gone ‘gentle into that good night.’ Other sources confirm Edwards’ assertions. The former Yankees owner has discharged Satan from any further managerial…