Author: deeptrout
Satanist Claims Satanist Not A Satanist
Lucien Graves, spokesperson and Grand Goat Master for the Horned and Cloven Hoofed Tabernacle went on record yesterday claiming accused “Craigslist Dexter Killer” Miranda Morgan was just a cheap poser and a hack. Morgan was arrested Monday in the killing…
IOC Officials Admit Curling Event Added To Be More Inclusive
In a stunning admission the International Olympic Committee issued a statement today confirming Curling was added to be more inclusive to non-athletes. The IOC had come under fire for its wall-to-wall coverage of this years Curling competition, many times at…
An Open Letter To GN And Contributors
Risking open rebellion from artists and maybe the admin, I’d like to make a suggestion. This site needs a writers forum where contributors can discuss submitted articles and make suggestions to improve our skills. I’m not a polished writer and…
Popular Orca Handling Preacher Dies From Whale Bite
Cult orca handler and rider Pastor Jamie Coots died early Friday morning after being bitten in half by a killer whale during a non sanctioned religious service at Sea World. The ardent Pentecostal minister preached whales will not harm true believers…
North/South Korea Talks Falter, Cancel Family Reunion
High level negotiations establishing a reunion for separated families in North and South Korea broke down Wednesday over a miscommunication on venue. After several weeks it was believed representatives had agreed to hold the event at Disney World this August…
Tea Party Calls for Deportation Of Illegal South African Minors
In a rare show of solidarity, three major Tea Party groups have come together and issued a joint statement calling for the arrest and deportation of illegal minors in South Africa. “Illegals are law breaking free loaders who steal jobs…
Billionaire Tom Perkins says “Poor Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote”
In a stunning turnaround, billionaire and silicon valley legend Tom Perkins who earlier this month compared the plight of the rich to nazi holocaust victims, stated that the poor should not be allowed to vote at all. “They’re dirty, they’re…
Kardashians Slam Kendall Jenner’s “Boob Walk”
The Internet is all a twitter over Kendall Jenner’s romp down the catwalk at Thurdays New York Fashion Week dressed in a shear, boob flaunting Marc Jacobs original. It didn’t take long for the fur to fly. In a tweet…
China Lays Blame for Lunar Disaster On Female Driver
At a press conference Saturday China announced its lunar mission was in danger and appeared to lay blame on it’s female rover. The rover, named Yutu and translated as “Rickshaw Woman”, got off to a rocky start when it overshot…
US Health and Human Services Recommends Twerking for Seniors
The US Health and Human Services (HHS) has issued a health advisory recommending twerking for seniors. The advisory states “People over 50 may want to consider adding twerking exercises to their workout routines. As people age stiffer joints, slower recovery…