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IOC Officials Admit Curling Event Added To Be More Inclusive

IOC Officials Admit Curling Event Added To Be More Inclusive

In a stunning admission the International Olympic Committee issued a statement today confirming Curling was added to be more inclusive to non-athletes.

The IOC had come under fire for its wall-to-wall coverage of this years Curling competition, many times at the expense of more popular sports such as hockey and downhill skiing. The move elicited a collective WHAT THE FUCK from much of the civilized sporting world.

The statement read “For decades the Olympics has been criticized for not being more inclusive of non-athletes. Traditional events freeze the sedentary and talent-less out of participation. The committee felt the addition of one event that required little skill, no athleticism and relied more on luck then ability would be more reflective of current sentiments and politically correct objectives.”

“We discussed several alternatives including tiddly winks, checkers, beer pong, but landed on Curling since it was more visually attractive and takes place on an ice rink, which of course is topical to the theme of the Winter Olympics.”

In other news, the IOC is currently discussing eliminating the awarding of medals and instead sending all athletes greeting cards that say “Thanks for participating, you were great!”

photo credit: Chase N. via photopin cc

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4 Responses to “IOC Officials Admit Curling Event Added To Be More Inclusive”

  1. What do you mean “non-athletes”? Do you know how much effort it takes to humiliate yourself on international TV, screaming and caterwauling like a mad person? There should be extra points for the curler who makes the most unnecessary noise.

  2. P. Beckert says:

    Kinda like a pig calling contest without the pigs?

  3. deeptrout says:

    I’m guessing the screaming going on in situ at the curling competition pales to the millions screaming at their television sets.

  4. Kilroy says:

    All started with the grunting in tennis. Oh, Monica Seles, see what you have created? Soon they shall be farting in professional chess.

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