Author: deeptrout
Malaysia Flight 370 At Hogwarts
In a Tweet sent early Monday morning to the 740 million followers of @harrypotter, Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of the private prep school Hogwarts, assured relatives of passengers and flight crew of Malaysia Flight 370 they were safely housed at his…
CEO Ben Linus Says Malaysia Flight 370 Swallowed Up By Smoke Monster
On Monday in Tunis, Tunisia, Ben Linus, CEO of The Dharma Initiative International, issued the following press release claiming the ill fated flight was accidentally swallowed up by an intergalactic black hole. “Fifty thousand years ago a consortium of advanced…
Doctor Who Claims Responsibility For Malaysia Flight 370
At a press conference Sunday at BBC headquarters in London, Gallifreyan Time Lord Doctor Who claimed missing Malaysia Flight 370 is with him. “I landed the TARDIS in flight and asked the passengers and flight crew if they would like to…
White House Claims WMDs Found In Crimea
In a stunning announcement at Wednesday mornings press briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced WMDs have been discovered in the Crimean peninsula. “The CIA has determined and it has been confirmed through British Intelligence that convoys of Russian…
CNN Caught Scanning Glossynews.com For Story Ideas
Once again, the mainstream media has swooped in to steal our precious exclusive. We reported it first, but CNN & reality had a different idea when they took the story from the realm of satire into public consciousness. These stories…
2014 “Oscar Oscars” Awarded to Oscar Oscars
The Academy of Motion Picture has announced it’s post Oscar Oscars for 2014. Getting awards is an amazing moment for anyone. If you want to know where you can get awards to hand out at a contest or even your…
Seth Rogan Testifies Before Congress About Seth Rogan
In a six minute address before a Senate Hearing on Alzheimer’s research funding that has gone viral on the Internet, comedian and actor Seth Rogan was successful at focusing discussion on the lack of knowledge and attention paid to Seth…
Danica Patrick Accuses NASCAR Drivers of Misogyny
NASCAR driver Danica Patrick charged other drivers with sexism and misogyny after being bumped in Sundays Daytona 500 causing her to crash into the outer wall and ending her race. “There’s only one woman at Daytona today and who gets…
Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan
Giddy with the joy of Christ at successfully legalizing state sponsored endorsement of dark age phobias and insanities the Arizona State Legislature voted to to change the State slogan and motto along with other state designations and affiliations.
Pirates Found With Dead Navy Seals on Maersk Alabama
Seychelles police have confirmed three deceased Ethiopian pirates were found along with two retired Navy Seal security personnel discovered dead on the Maersk Alabama this last weekend. The three pirates carried Ethiopian passports and appeared to be dressed as Captian…