Year: 2019
NHS High School Campaign: Don’t Do Drugs Kids, You Might End Up a Tory!
A secret leak from our confidential anonymous sources tell us the NHS are planning to launch a controversial new primary and high school ad campaign to warn kids: ‘Cayman Cokeheads? Just say no!’ One confidential prize cut is as follows!…
UNDUE SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE??? Pope Francis Endorses Corbyn as UK PM!
Scandal-plagued, sexually questionable Scientologist sympathiser Pope Francis has recently found out that radical activism brings strange bedfellows. He has now given an edgy endorsement to flamboyantly bitter career politician Jeremy Corbyn, widely considered discredited on account of the Labour party’s…
The Time Hollywood Was AFRAID of Black People!
Believe it or not, there was a time in Hollywood comedies where the greatest fear of white people was to run into a group of black people. Because in Hollywood’s eyes, the only thing a group of black people hanging…
The Vampire And The Vamp
The vampire waited patiently, ravenously in the dark alley. His never ending thirst was a suction within himself that pulled and tore at every organ. Weakened by lack of finding a victim for several nights, he knew he must find…
12 Fields That Were Impacted by Technology in Interesting Ways
It’s easy to see the impact of technology all around us. Just take a short walk outside and look around – you’ll probably see countless examples without even trying. But these are just the obvious ones. There is a lot…
‘Can’t Be Arsed Getting Married’ Dude Wants You to Know IMMIGRATION is DESTROYING HIS COUNTRY!!!!!!
Some random dude who ‘just wants to live a little, same as everybody else!’ wants to know that absolutely everything wrong in his country is because of them pesky migrants! Common Glossy News Professor Smiggles investigates. The Reverend Scrotie McScroteface,…
Teacher Accused of MURDERING 2 people! Guess How She Makes Bail…
Miranda Jensen, a third-grade teacher at Middlebette Elementary School, has been in court the past few weeks because of two dead children. She has been in holding since the 2nd of May and continues to deny any relationship with the…
Bills Stamped “Not to Be Used to Bribe Politicians” Spent on Lap Dances for Senators
Despite a seemingly bullet-proof plan for intercepting corporate interest bribes, a growing phenomenon that is currently outstripping even the nefarious deeds of the mildly controversial Church of Scientology, some of the growing number of bills marked in protest of political…
PR DISASTER! Pope Francis Signs Peace Treaty With Church of Scientology
After inking a highly controversial covenant of theological solidarity with the Grand Imam of al-Azhar University, notoriously accident-prone not so militant cleric Pope Francis has been continuing his famously tolerant and inclusive approach to religion by declaring a holy crusade…
REVOLUTION! (By Richard Seltzer)
Once there was a kingdom where the farmers were unhappy, the tradesmen were unhappy, the soldiers were unhappy, and even the king himself was unhappy. The farmers blamed it on the tradesmen. The tradesmen blamed it on the soldiers. The…