Teacher Accused of MURDERING Entire 3rd-Grade Class! Guess How She Makes Bail…

American jail

Miranda Jensen, a third-grade teacher at Middlebette Elementary School, has been in court the past few weeks, due to allegations involving her slaughtered third-grade class. She has been in holding since the 2nd of May and continues to deny any relationship with her class, claiming she has never seen any of the kids in her life.

She was finally convicted on Tuesday and sentenced to life in prison with a bail of 2.4 million dollars, again, because she murdered 21 children.

Jensen was in jail for only 2 days before the state’s lottery winners were announced.

It was later discovered that the child-killer was amongst the winners.

Even though she was in prison, the law states that she still has the choice to accept.

Parents and civilians are furious that such a woman can be rewarded at random by the state of Kentucky.

Regardless, Jensen accepted the money and was able to pay her 2.4 million dollar bail with a few thousand to spare.

Miranda Jensen lost her teaching job, but she is still out there and on the prowl.

A number of highly thought of people are up in arms about this.

Prominent Republicans and Democrats said, among other things:

If you’re going to do something ridiculously evil, you at least have to cover your tracks a bit better!

Or:

Why are the State of Kentucky rigging the lottery to reward evildoers again! Freakin’ Electoral College strikes again!

Or more positively:

Hey, great idea! Remember, mass murderers are people, just like corporations! And if serial killers are allowed to buy their way out of justice, why not corporations too?

Rumor has it Ms Jensen intends to jump bail to some country or other that is not particularly in the good graces of America, and from which deportation back to the good ol’ US of A sounds extraordinarily unlikely.

Numerous top figures from the pro Republica and pro Democratic media factions are not particularly happy about this either.

When wealth and prosperity are not rewarded on merit, but purely on being in the right place and the right time, then we’re all in trouble, aren’t we???

WELCOME TO OUR NEW SATIRE AND COMEDY WRITER, GRACE!

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Author: Grace

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