Month: December 2014
ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men………And Women
A Note From The Editor- Due to current difficult economic situations and due to pressure from First Amendment Rights groups Glossy News must unfortunately include ads in our article runs. These ads do not necessarily reflect the opinions and thoughts…
NFL Introduces New Team Name: Matthew McConaughey Celebrates with a Footlong
Washington, D.C. – Ending a long debate over the controversial name of one of its teams, the National Football League announced this week that the Washington Redskins will now be known as the Washington Breadskins. Originally established in 1932, the…
America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”
Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie. “It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda,” stated…
Joan Rivers Makin’ Em Laugh in Hell
Comedienne Joan Rivers may have died last week following complications from plastic surgery, but that doesn’t mean she’s slowed down or lost her edge. The eighty-one year-old comic, known for her bitchy attitude, is still makin’ ’em laugh in the…
Lorde’s New Songs Leaked
Lorde’s newest songs have been leaked to the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander’s latest songs. The source says “Little White Yugos” is likely to be at least a moderate success on…
Lessons from This Year in Tech and Fashion
Tech is the new fashion. If that was ever in doubt, ask the editors from Vogue, Marie Claire and other fashion magazines who attended the Apple Watch launch in Cupertino, CA, instead of covering New York Fashion Week (NYFW). The…
Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark
On December 21st the entire Internet in North Korea was shut down by a major cyber attack. (Note- a major cyber attack in the Communist state would be the equivalent of accidentally pulling out your plug on an old Commodore…
Bush Doctrine 2.0/0.2. Jeb Confirms Allays Our Foreign Policy Fears (2)
Here’s the rest of The End of History. I’m so excited to proclaim this, I nearly expected the ceiling of my office to cave in. …Not the glass ceiling, of course. For, just like the 100%-Anti-State-Patronage-And-Condescension-Dems, Republicans don’t have a…
Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea
Prominent, but still sub-viral site GlossyNews.com has launched a Go Fund Me campaign to create a free-to-dowload video criticizing the regime. The goal is to create a wicked, biting satirical film criticizing the totalitarian dynastic regime in North Korea. The…
North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack
North Korea has gone bankrupt from its massive hacking assault on Sony Pictures. The intrusion into the depths of Sony’s Corporation was ignited by their new film ‘The Interview’ which features two bumbling tabloid newsmen who are given the mission…