North Korea has gone bankrupt from its massive hacking assault on Sony Pictures.
The intrusion into the depths of Sony’s Corporation was ignited by their new film ‘The Interview’ which features two bumbling tabloid newsmen who are given the mission of assassinating North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un.
This indiscretion infuriated the real Jong Un who immediately funneled the entire countries anemic economy into the hacking barrage that exposed many of Sony’s secret files including high level employee wages (which shocked Jong Un in that one executive’s salary alone equals the entire gross national product of North Korea for a year), insulting emails about famous stars (which also encindered the Prez as some were about his secret fantasy love Jennifer Aniston), and photos of Seth Rogen in his underwear (which the Exalted One kept for his private collection).
North Korea, which already has experienced such extreme poverty that starving people go to the train station to beg food or eat grass to survive, can hardly handle this new bankruptcy.
They already receive massive food donations from the UN and from their sworn enemies The U.S. and South Korea. Anytime these entities start to cut down supplies the Most Revered One merely emits one of his colorful, highly creative threats against the countries and they run like Pavlov dogs to refill his nations food banks.
The cost of paying hackers $0.03 and hour and of having China charge them more for the extra electricity to power the enterprise added a huge burden to the State finances. This doesn’t even include the cost of the extra Microsoft Vista computers bought up at Chinese flea markets they needed to complete the task.
The whole venture has cut so deeply into the Hermit Kingdoms vaults that Jong Un himself has had to cut back on his weekly cases of Chivas Regal and French foie gras shipped in and on his subscriptions to Indian porn movies.
A possible answer to their economic dilemma is that Sony Pictures has offered Jong Un the opportunity of playing Moe in the new upcoming Three Stooges movie which he is considering. He already has the personality and the haircut for the role.