Month: November 2014
Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (2)
-Peter, great loyalty demands great sacrifice As you found out last time, the entire Glossy News team has been arrested on fake charges for prostitution… Although a certain informer called Wallace Runnymede (who shall remain anonymous, in order to have…
Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse
Success in cold storage warehouse construction Cоld ѕtоrаgе wаrеhоuѕеѕ are kеу wауроіntѕ in оur nation’s fооd ѕuррlу аnd dіѕtrіbutіоn nеtwоrk. Due to changes іn thе wау food іѕ processed, mоvеd, bоught аnd consumed, соld storage wаrеhоuѕе соnѕtruсtіоn is top-of-mind…
Widespread Ebola Pandemic Fears A “Huge Confidence Booster” For Previously Modest Ebolavirus
SENEGAL – Explaining that it was, “as surprised as the next viral particle,” about the panic surrounding a potential global Ebola outbreak, EBOV, the virus responsible for Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever, held a press conference this week detailing its seemingly pleasant…
LGBTQQ Community Finally Exhausts Alphabet
It’s finally happened. The non-traditional sexuality and gender communities have exhausted the alphabet in their attempts to include everyone under one umbrella acronym. Starting in the 1990s, those of different sexual persuasions started describing themselves as part of the LGBT…
Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (1)
The End of The Truth? Glossynews, as you all no doubt agree (merely because WE say so; reason enough, right?!), is the single most… sorry, the SINGLE AND SOLE respected media outlet in the world. Well, in a world filled…
Papa Johns Pizza Loses Big as Arizona Cardinals Continue to Win
National pizza chain Papa Johns has posted a massive 1st quarter loss that is expected to hurt year end business results. This is all in part to the deal the pizza chain has in cities with NFL teams. Whenever a…
“Yucky World” w/Dick and Janey: Pagan wants to secularize public schools
Announcer: A high school in Colorado recently banned religious speech during an “Open Time” period also known as Seminar. Previously, Jackson High School of Mill Creek, Washington, with the support of the federal courts, banned the playing of an instrumental…
Scoop: Glossy News Is The First With A Photo Of The New Star Trek Series And Its Stars
A leak in the security of the new Star Trek series has provided Glossy with a peek at the highly anticipated show. As you can see the players will be wearing an all new design of Star Fleet uniforms and,…
Time To Retire Grumpy Old Senators
Everybody seems to be blaming the current do-nothing state of Congress on the fractious squabbling between different ideological factions, particularly those of the Republican persuasion. But maybe it’s not ideology at all; maybe it’s just that we have too many…
Obama Apologizes For Post-election Hubris
Barack Obama has reportedly done a complete about face. Having encountered widespread criticism for the tough stance he took in his post-electoral press conference, the President has decided to take a more conciliatory approach with his Republican opponents. “I’m really…