Posted in Biz News World News

Black Friday – The Evil American Plot To Destroy Britain Is A Success

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them- BLACK FRIDAY! Long accustomed to importing…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics War Zone

William Hague: Humanitarian Liquidation for Illegitimate GQ Editorial Regime

William Hague may no longer be (Anti)Foreign(er) Minister and Vice-Viceroy of the British Humanitarian Empire™… Nor indeed, a key business strategist for IntCom Imperialist Enterprises™… Still, he has maintained his healthy, thoroughly admirable, and perfectly laudable interest of all… To…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Society

Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving- Mostly the Rich

“I am thankful that I have a job even though I have to work today ’cause my boss told me too.” said Chad Shafted in a slight break between customers at 11 at night at the Des Plains Walmart in…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Rupert Murdoch Admits FOX News Began as Political Satire

In a recent interview with Glossy News, media tycoon Rupert Murdoch confessed a bit of an inside joke that has kept him smiling to himself for over 18 years – The FOX News he initially envisioned was a 24-hour news…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics Society

Obama Pardons Black Turkey: Bojangles will live to loot another day

Obama’s first Post Ferguson pardon occurred Thursday, and just like everything else the President does, the act has got him up to his neck in controversy. As is tradition at the White House since 1947, the President pardoned a turkey,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Poll: Over 50% of US Women Have Been Drugged, Improperly Touched by Cosby

Bill Cosby’s PR nightmare has gotten worse. In addition to the original seven to fourteen women who accused the formerly beloved comedian of sexual assault, more and more women have spoken up in a show of solidarity with their abused…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Politics

Enda Kenny Voted World’s Most Charismatic Current Fine Gael Taoiseach

A recent RTE poll, unsurprisingly, has determined that Enda Kenny, despite malicious rumors from irrational and extremist Fianna Fail hooligans™, really is (as none of us really doubted), the World’s Most Charismatic Current Fine Gael Taoiseach. Admittedly, it was a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in War Zone World News

ISIS Blows Up U.S. Battleships Maine and Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin

WASHINGTON – The Pentagon announced today that the Islamic State (ISIS) has blown up two American battleships, the Maine and the Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin. Brigadier General Lance Boyle stated: “ISIS was very foolhardy in using weapons of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Celebrity Gossip Music

Kanye/Cool J: Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in History

Disclaimer: An earlier version of this was previously published on TheSpoof.com. Still, the warning below about the 21st century’s deadliest rap grudge still bears repeating. Don’t say I never warned you. OK, so right, there’s a lot of jive goin’…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics Serious Commentary

For Once I Agree With The Republicans – Immigration

I am glad Obama is finally standing up to the Republicans who have been kneecapping him since day one of his Presidency. It is just too bad that it isn’t over a better subject- immigration. The truth is- the boat…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Entertainment Strange People

Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (2)

-Peter, great loyalty demands great sacrifice As you found out last time, the entire Glossy News team has been arrested on fake charges for prostitution… Although a certain informer called Wallace Runnymede (who shall remain anonymous, in order to have…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Science Science & Technologizzy

Bread Bath & Beyond Unearths Ancient Toy in Corporate Warehouse

Union, New Jersey – Chief Inventory Specialist, Brandon Pitabeard of Bread Bath & Beyond’s corporate headquarters made an astonishing discovery Monday morning when he found a toy dating back to the era when Olive Garden’s roamed the earth, more than…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Health Science

Widespread Ebola Pandemic Fears A “Huge Confidence Booster” For Previously Modest Ebolavirus

SENEGAL – Explaining that it was, “as surprised as the next viral particle,” about the panic surrounding a potential global Ebola outbreak, EBOV, the virus responsible for Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever, held a press conference this week detailing its seemingly pleasant…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Human Interest Strange People

LGBTQQ Community Finally Exhausts Alphabet

It’s finally happened. The non-traditional sexuality and gender communities have exhausted the alphabet in their attempts to include everyone under one umbrella acronym. Starting in the 1990s, those of different sexual persuasions started describing themselves as part of the LGBT…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Entertainment Strange People

Entire Glossy News Team Arrested On False Prostitution Charges (1)

The End of The Truth? Glossynews, as you all no doubt agree (merely because WE say so; reason enough, right?!), is the single most… sorry, the SINGLE AND SOLE respected media outlet in the world. Well, in a world filled…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Sports

Papa Johns Pizza Loses Big as Arizona Cardinals Continue to Win

National pizza chain Papa Johns has posted a massive 1st quarter loss that is expected to hurt year end business results. This is all in part to the deal the pizza chain has in cities with NFL teams. Whenever a…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics Religionism

“Yucky World” w/Dick and Janey: Pagan wants to secularize public schools

Announcer: A high school in Colorado recently banned religious speech during an “Open Time” period also known as Seminar. Previously, Jackson High School of Mill Creek, Washington, with the support of the federal courts, banned the playing of an instrumental…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Entertainment Politics

Scoop: Glossy News Is The First With A Photo Of The New Star Trek Series And Its Stars

A leak in the security of the new Star Trek series has provided Glossy with a peek at the highly anticipated show. As you can see the players will be wearing an all new design of Star Fleet uniforms and,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Opinion/Editorial Politics

Time To Retire Grumpy Old Senators

Everybody seems to be blaming the current do-nothing state of Congress on the fractious squabbling between different ideological factions, particularly those of the Republican persuasion. But maybe it’s not ideology at all; maybe it’s just that we have too many…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!
Posted in Politics

Obama Apologizes For Post-election Hubris

Barack Obama has reportedly done a complete about face. Having encountered widespread criticism for the tough stance he took in his post-electoral press conference, the President has decided to take a more conciliatory approach with his Republican opponents. “I’m really…

WTF?! Click now to find out more!