Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Scoop: Glossy Acquires Titles Of Future Ann Coulter Books

Ann Coulter, that famous extreme right wing author and the wicked witch of the North East That Baum didn’t write so much about in his Oz books is forever coming out with new literary tirades against those who, unlike herself,…

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Posted in Making Headlines

Sharknado Jumps the Shark

Spawns new hackneyed headline.

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Posted in Politics Talky Pictures

The New Smash Hit Film- ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’

The new Sci-Fi flick ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’ is taking the box office by storm! The latest sequel in the series that started with ‘Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants’ then continued with ‘Beyond The Planet Of The…

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Posted in Crime Society

Serial Killer Ashamed He Used The N-Word

While cutting out individual letters from various newspapers and magazines, local serial killer Simon Thompson told Iron E-News that although he used the N-word while strangling an African American, the killing was not racially motivated. “I don’t know what came…

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Posted in Politics Television

Megyn Kelly is Still a Massive Twat, But Mitt Romney Has a Huge Wang (Censored Version)

Megyn Kelly, anchor of some white guy’s network, is still being pursued by liberals and stuff, claiming that her blatant and sour opinions that put people to shame were morally wrong and shouldn’t be on a comedy network such as…

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Posted in Kidz Zone Video News

Child Labor Now Used in Every Sector, Even Accounting (Video Exclusive)

There was a time when children were free to play in the fields they tilled, learn skills in the factories that employed them, or even frolic on the sets of such films as Home Alone and The Sixth Sense. The…

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Posted in Health Television

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating Crap Out of Him

Piggy Adam Richman Mocks Critic; Beats Eating the Crap Out of Him (Family-Friendly Censored Version) Mr. Piggy Adam Richman, a titty overweight eater, who had his very own show on the Travel Channel mocked his “critics” by posting a comment,…

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Posted in Politics

An Open Rant To The “%&*#@&” Geniuses” Eastern Ukrainian Rebels

You absolute stupid f*&%$#ing a*^&*%s! You %*&^-up cowboys who think you are the coolest things on the planet when really you are a bunch of dumb s*^*s who probably still wet the bed at night. You, in trying to prove…

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Posted in Health Science Top Stories

The Condemned No Longer Fear The Reaper

FLORENCE, Ariz. (GlossyNews) — A government think tank has come up with a novel idea to ensure there are no more botched executions like the one that occurred this week in Arizona. States have traveled a long and winding road…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Entertainment

Oprah Tackles The Great Outdoors, Announces Release of New Book

Pale Rock, Arkansas – Following a fishing trip to the serene estuaries between the Ozark and Ouachita Mountains where Oprah Winfrey manhandled some extremely large fish, the popular talk show host has released a new book detailing her experience. “It…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Talky Pictures

Seven Movies That Could Be Considered An Upgrade Upon The Books They Were Based Upon.

The constant thing said about movies based on books is always “how much better the book is.” On occasion, however, it does occur that the movie can go further than the book. A prime example of this is the sci-fi…

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Posted in Sports

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Left-handers suing Major League Baseball

Announcer: Equal treatment for all Americans is a fundamental principle of our Constitution. Baseball is supposed to be as American as apple pie. Serious questions have been raised about baseball’s fairness by the National Organization for Perfect Equality (NOPE). “Yucky…

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Posted in Politics War Zone

Why Are You Knocking On Our Door When Your Own Country Is A Mess? or Sorry, We Are Not A Professional Babysitting Company.

With regards to the sudden influx of children from Central America suddenly rushing our border and the questions over what the proper response should be, here is an interesting similar incident that happened a while back in Germany: In the…

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Posted in Sports Events

An American’s Comment On All The Balderdash Surrounding Soccer’s World Cup In Brazil.

It is time to take the opportunity to take you folks in the rest of the world (besides the good old USA) and England especially to task for the formation and promoting since the 16th century this thing you call…

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Posted in Talky Pictures War Zone

Kim Jong-un Rejects Peace Offering: Guarantees Death to Rogen, Franco, America

Pyongyang, North Korea – Co-stars for the upcoming film, The Interview, James Franco and Seth Rogen find themselves boiling in a scalding cauldron of steamy garlic butter this week after their recent peace offering to North Korean Leader, Kim Jong-un,…

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Posted in Kidz Zone Technology

How Old is Too Old for an iPhone?

Oberlin, OH — Annabel Smith, local 2 year old, coos as she goes through her mother’s iPhone, the screen illuminating her round face. The iPhone is well equipped with several apps specifically for babies, such as Dora’s Ballet Adventure, and…

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Posted in Entertainment Television

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Is there too much sex on TV? (Part 2)

Announcer: Continuing their “Yucky World” interview with network programmer Seymour Dooless, Dick and Janey will be using examples of televised sexual situations. Dick: We’ve brought a TV monitor into our studio so that we can show scenes from some typical…

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Posted in Politics

Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan’s Anti-Drug Mantra “Just Say No” To Solve Child Immigration

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in…

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Posted in Human Interest Science & Technologizzy

New Pet Food Triggers Outrage; Breadsticks for Kim Jong-un?

Damascus, Iowa – A new line of products released by Pet Food Enterprises, Inc., that was intended to provide humor and admiration over the recent extinction of Olive Garden restaurants and the late breadsticks offered complimentary with the purchase of…

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Posted in Biz News Technology

Pittsburgh PUC Halts Ride-Sharing At Kennywood

PITTSBURGH — Ruling that the threat to public safety is “theoretically a very real problem under the principles of String theory,” a two-judge panel has shut down ride-sharing at Kennywood park in West Mifflin. The ruling makes it illegal for…

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